January 2009 Archives

Being Wise... taking in the wisdom across generations
by Christine, age 37


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Of course it would make sense that in the month we talk about YONI's that I would come upon the Goddess Persephone. For all of January, I've seemed obsessed with Red Tents and Moons (aka our menstrual cycles)... I've been questioning my own use of pills that regulate my hormones and chlorine-filled cotton bullets I use to pick up my monthly visitor. So no surprise that I literally opened up this book I have called "The Book of Goddesses" and there Persephone, was, staring directly at me.

A little background on our lady Persephone... she's the daughter of Demeter, whom she loved very much, but big bad Pluto came by and forced her to marry him. Although he loved her dearly, she never truly gave him her heart. And can you blame her? Brut! This life drama gave Persephone a reluctance to claim her own sexuality and an infatuation with  pomegranates and the power of menstruation aka our Moons (a term my friend Tarja uses, and I'm sure Persephone would approve of, but that I still can't quite get out of my mouth).

Which leads me to what I want to ask this powerful Goddess:  What is the deal with why women are so weirded out by their periods? Why do we try to hide them, suppress them and force our way through them? For goddess sake, Dr. Lissa Rankin told us she couldn't leave surgery to change her tampons - just bleed right through, seriously? Where are the Red Tents that used to be the place women could go for the few days they would bleed... where they'd hang out with the girls, sing songs, braid hair, generally RELAX? Why can't I refer to my period as "my moon" without squirming? Why when I got my period, did my mother simply say, "There's a box in the closet." No wonder so many of us over-achieving women have stuffed our YONI in the closet, right next to the 'feminine hygenine products!'

If I think about what Persephone would say, I imagine it would go something like this, "lf you want a Red Tent, build one, even if it's in your bedroom giving yourself the day off when you moon starts... If you don't want to say "my moon" don't, but for at least pick something other than "period," it sounds awful... and Take if from me, don't miss out on fully claiming your sexuality, not for your husband's sake, but for your own. There is nothing more powerful than a woman in her divine sexual power, fully centered in who and what she is, at this time, in this moment, in all of her beauty and love of self."



Olive, age 13, says: 

olive.jpg I would chat with Oizys. She is the goddess of distress, worry, and anxiety. Her Latin name is Miseria, from which the English word 'misery'. I would want to chat with her because I want to know why these seem to be the easiest emotions for us to feel.

For girls my age, the stress is on the SSAT's. No it's not the SAT's (those are college). The SSAT's are for girls and boys who want to get into private high schools. I am going to public school but my parents made me take it any way. Even though my parents kept on telling me not to stress out about it, how could I not? It's a huge test and I have to study for it and it's really hard!!! Stress is everywhere. It makes me have such bad neck pains that whenever I move my neck, it cracks. I'm sure that some adults could say the same thing but are they 13? Nope.

I believe Oizys would tell me one simple thing. It's all in your head. But what does that mean? It's different for everybody but the main idea here is that things aren't stressing you out, you're stressing yourself out. In other words, no one can stress you out, you can only let them and to be strong is wiping it off your shoulders and knowing that whatever happens, you'll be okay.

Some ideas on how to not stress out:
-Be sure you are giving yourself enough time to complete tasks
-Drink some soothing tea (It tastes REALLY good with a lot of honey :)
-Take a walk
-Do something you love

When I do these things, it helps me realize that no matter what pickle I'm in, it will pass over time and no matter what I will still have my family that loves me.


Christin, age 25, says:


christin.jpgThere are two aspects of being a woman that feel powerful and special to me; our bodies and our ability to hold.
 
So, I took an online quiz to determine which Goddess I most embodied to figure out which goddess I should chat with.  In the end, it was the goddess Artemis whom this online questionnaire associated me with. My first reaction was: What?! Artemis the Virgin?  The homely older sister of Apollo who couldn't live up to the favored and far more popular War God?  Give me a break.  (This entire prelude, in and of itself, should illustrate my utter lack of familiarity with Femmergy!)
 
Admittedly, I had to read up on this archetype from numerous resources to create a complete characterization of who Artemis really is.  What I discovered was, how we shall say this, she is Marvelous!  She is the goddess of the hunt, of fertility, of the forest and mountains, the goddess of nature and the protectress.
 
I was hung up on her supposed 'virginity' and her solitude from other people because I was concerned that my destiny might entail hermit-hood.  But then I read this - "Due to her well-integrated masculine energy and independence, Artemis does not possess much need for a man to complete her. Her awareness is focused."  And then I realized that I TOTALLY want to be this woman!  She is complete in herself.  She is fulfilled by the elemental properties of our Earth.  She is swift and powerful and compassionate.   
 
I imagine that, if I were to walk in on her unexpectedly, she would be lounging in a loose tunic. Maybe sharpening an arrow head, or relaxing her tired muscles in a sulfur bath.  She would be lean and toned and beautiful in the way of the Amazon warrior women.  I imagine she would have a dog that would hear me coming before she did.  And she would look up from her task to smile at me and say, "Welcome, my daughter."  And I would probably giggle with absolute shyness and unease.  But then she would touch my shoulder lightly and hold a gaze that demanded return. At that moment,  I would recognize that her solitary nature provided her own special gateway to greater intimacy with others. I imagine she would feel this shift in my understanding, and she would tell me, "You need not fear loneliness, dear. You are always completely loved within yourself."
 
....see what I mean?? - Marvelous!          



Katie, age 34, says:
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I would sit down by the fire with Greek goddess Aphrodite, whose name is interchangeable with Venus, from Roman mythology. She is the goddess of love, sexuality, and beauty.

Aphrodite is known as the daughter of Heaven and Sea, the child of Uranus and Gaia. She was not conceived out of pleasure, but she cultivated it in her own life. Aphrodite did not have a childhood, but instead was born an adult possessing a powerful sexuality. She was forced to marry the ugly god of fire, Hephaestus, who controlled her. Aphrodite was fiercely independent, and she constantly sought freedom in the form of a new lover. She had many on her way to finding Ares, the god of war, who became her true love.

Astrologically speaking, I relate to Aphrodite. With my Sun in air sign Aquarius, my moon in water sign Scorpio, and my Rising in air sign Libra, I am a living blend of heaven and the sea. My Venus and Mars are in Capricorn and Taurus. The combination of these earth signs with my Scorpio moon preoccupies me with love and engenders a powerful sexuality. Or so my astrologer tells me.

My astrologer is right. I am endlessly fascinated by love, and my intimate relationships are fueled by passion. As a writer, my theme is the mystery of romantic love. For these reasons, Aphrodite would be my ideal partner for a fireside chat.

Throughout my dating life, I've allowed sexual desire to govern my choices with men. This in itself is not a bad thing; physical chemistry will always be an essential element of my intimate relationships. But I've taken it too far, by allowing attraction to blind me to the fact that other, equally important characteristics were missing from my connections with men. There were gaps in the areas of genuine love, mutual respect, and honesty.

Aphrodite led with passion and found love. By leaving her arranged marriage to Hephaestus, Aphrodite broke the chain that bound her. In our talk, she would insist that I guard my sexual power, that I don't ever abandon it for a "nice guy" who bores me. But she would also say I should never again let it chain me to someone not worthy of my love. I should use it to guide me to someone who respects my independence, genuinely loves me, and always tells me the truth.



Janet, age 52, says:

janet.jpgAthena is an armed Warrior Goddess, and appears in Greek mythology as a helper of many heroes. She also would come to be known as the Goddess of Wisdom. I have chosen Athena, a Goddess that I most resonate with...I have lived much of my life as a Warrior Goddess, both at work and home.

My question for Goddess Athena is this: "What did you do during those times Others were attacking, warring with You to hold Your Ground and stay in Your Truth?" Dearest Goddess Warrior Night Eagle Dancer (Janet) You have walked a similar path in your time, and each time you have felt that you lost your way and the days became the darkness of night and you felt as though You alone were standing in the war..."Where did You go to find Your Truth, Peace and Compassion?" Do you remember those long walks along the ocean, those moments of utter despair and intense agony that dared to suck you into the abyss of fear and pain? Those Journeys are what allowed you to go deep to find Your Inner Wisdom...the Knowing...the Trust...and the Love that binds Us All together.

It was in the darkest moments that the Greatest Wisdom was birthed...We Know that without the darkness and pain, we mere mortals have great difficulty mustering the courage and fortitude to risk all that we are, to Stand Strong and Tall in Our Infinite Wisdom and Truth. I do not dare to diminish the complexity and challenges that You face in this modern world of many non-believers and the unenlightened...however, it is those very people that fight us the most that allow us to grow and stand stronger in the Truth. It is that adversity and those challenges that put us to task...to propel us forward in the Quest of fully real-I-zing Your Greatest Gifts!

Being Wise... taking in the wisdom across generations
by Christine, age 37


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I have to admit that up until the age of 30 I had no idea that there was anything specifically powerful about being a woman. No one had told me that there was anything special about being a woman other than I got a period, could have babies and had boobs. The notion of "feminine" anything, other than maybe feminine hygiene, never crossed my mind until I went on my first "retreat", all women, all weekend, six months after the devastating experience of getting dumped on the way to my engagement party. Before that blow, the last thing I wanted to do was spend a weekend with all girls getting all intimate and woman like. I liked being around men. I was a driven, goal-oriented woman focused on climbing the ladder, and amassing everything I thought I needed to be successful. But that weekend with those 25 women changed it all. It became the catalyst for a seven-year journey into meeting, embracing and learning to love the feminine in me.

Today, I know that what's powerful about being a woman is infinite, and one of the powers I love most is our ability to receive. To open up and invite things in, to open up and let things happen. Before my introduction to this "feminine" power within me, I didn't let anything happen, I MADE it happen. I drove myself, I drove projects and I drove my life to where I wanted it to be. I didn't trust that I could allow for things to happen naturally. If something wasn't working, I pushed harder, and worked harder to make it happen. It was thrilling but exhausting. Today, I'm smarter, and I know that if something isn't working, I stop and listen (also a very feminine power) and adjust. Now, it's not like I sit under a bodhi tree, meditating all day waiting for things to happen, although wouldn't that be nice! What I've learned is that I have to put my intention out there and move towards it while holding myself open for whatever comes. I am convinced that learning how to trust the power of receiving has saved me millions of headaches, dollars and wasted hours. And I'm still learning.

I love my relationship with the woman inside me, because it's really caused me to honor things in my life that I didn't always make time for - my creativity, my body, creating and seeing beauty all around me. It's also the place that is the most compassionate and loving with me. In the moments when my driven, over-achieving masculine self is berating me for not doing enough or telling me there's no time to slow down, it's my feminine side that comes in, holds me, shows me compassion and allows me to relax, be kind to myself, and reminds me that I can trust that it will all happen if I just trust, let go and give myself some much needed love.


Olive, age 13, says: 

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Women are definitely special but we are also super powerful. Did you know that women can make babies? Hopefully you did! When there are men who are ungrateful towards women, you can just think, a women made you! A women suffered 9 months, gained weight, and probably got some stretch marks all for you! Men can't even have babies. Sure they contribute to the process but I don't think men have wombs where they carry babies.

Women are also very creative. People tend to have either more of a right brain or left brain. Women tend to have more a right brain and this is so powerful. This means that we can be super duper creative. Of course everyone is creative but us women express so much. Even makeup is like painting on your face. Every one of us has a way of being expressive. My way of being super expressive is the way I dress. My favorite outfit is:

•    blue and pink chunky knit jumper
•    bright orange American Apparel dress underneath
•    bright blue ankle length leggings
•    bright red pumps from some thrift store

I hate it when I'm at a party and someone says, "Oh that's a great outfit! I just can't pull that off!" What? You can't pull it off? Yeah right. I just dress how I want to dress. You shouldn't spend time worrying about what people are going to think. Is it going to kill you if someone doesn't like it? I'll tell you one thing, I certainly don't like your "mom-waisted" jeans and your wolf sweater but it's not killing you, is it?

What you DO wear =  some people might not like it

What you WANT TO wear = some people might not like it

They're both the same effect only one is what you really want. I encourage you to do something you like and not care what other people think. Even if I don't like it, I'll still be giving you a pat on the back and a great job sticker :) !!!


Christin, age 25, says:

christin.jpgThere are two aspects of being a woman that feel powerful and special to me; our bodies and our ability to hold.
 
Our bodies are so beautiful! The physical form is holy ground. A sacred temple.  A shrine to the Creator. I used to be afraid to spend time on, with and for my body. We had a very unhealthy relationship - the kind of friendship where I would demand unrealistic contributions from it. Sleep Less! Get Skinnier! Do More, More, More! If my body were another person she would have broken off our friendship a long time ago. It has been challenging, but over time, I have learned to give more to my body in the form of meditation, yoga, lavender baths, pretty underwear, lotions and other gifts I offer to the divinity housed in this Temple. I try to say nice things to it, even if they come out awkward. It's kind of like the beginnings of a romantic relationship. I say things like, 'Body, you're so pretty.' Or 'Body, you are getting so healthy.' I blush a little, but she responds SO much better to those words.
 
Second, the ability to hold is a pure feminine power. Not to be confused with Female homosapien power, but sacred feminine. To hold space. To hold others. To hold intention and hope. To hold the highest good of all. I think people are mostly on their own paths, figuring out their own reasons for why they are here. When I jump in and try to fix it (which only happened once before I became totally enlightened..., I swear!) there are things the other person simply cannot hear because they aren't ready. Holding someone in love is actually faster and more efficient than 'doing' anything. Counter intuitive, eh?
 
But so is being a woman. Women are powerful AND soft. We are special AND we are one. We are sacred and holy AND vivacious leather-wearing tigresses. We are feminine; we should embrace and enjoy every moment of what that means!


Katie, age 34, says:
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Every woman is powerful. By expressing our authentic selves, women can effect positive transformation in any encounter - sometimes, without anyone knowing to attribute the changes to us. These shifts can happen within us, with our intimate partners, with strangers, or with anyone... and the ripples can reach across continents.

A male friend once wrote me a note on an index card. We were in a personal growth workshop, and I had just finished a truth-telling exercise, which entailed sitting in the middle of a large circle and speaking my heart for ten minutes. I'd broken into tears during my disclosure, and my friend wrote to me, "You regain your innocence every time you cry." I felt touched, that he could see my goodness come alive as I shed my layers. Now, whenever I cry, I remember my friend's wisdom and feel grateful to the tears, for moving me beyond my game face and into life.

I honor my authenticity every time I reveal my heart. When I voice my needs to a girlfriend, or tell her I'm hurt by her actions, I'm often terrified that she'll say I've asked too much of our friendship or that I'm wrong to feel unhappy with her. I almost always speak up, though, mostly because I can't pretend away an elephant in any room... even if it's stomping around in one of my internal, private rooms. But I also do it because my friendships are everything to me, and I don't think a relationship where either person hides can work.

In the past, I've handed my power over to my intimate partners. In each case, I held the man up on a pedestal and believed myself unworthy of him, placing my own interests last. Because of the choices I made in men, I was always with someone who liked this deal. Even when my heart pleaded that I would know my unique worth and inherent sacredness, my head argued and always won. My inner critic's verdict was the same every time: "Katie, he's too good for you." Yeah. I know. What a deceptive game face I had.

With my girlfriend relationships thriving on the power of authenticity, my intention for 2009 is to meet a special man. And when I do, I'll hold on to my power. He'll have his own to spare, anyway. And tears or no tears, he'll always see my innocence.


Janet, age 52, says:

janet.jpgThe very things I was criticized for (i.e. 'You are too emotional.'...'You are too trusting!') are the very powers within mySelf that I have always intended to honor. Not to say that I didn't make attempts (at best feeble) at conforming (which felt more like selling out) over the years. I learned at an early age it is much easier to 'join them if you can't beat them'...fake it 'til you make it...don't let them see you cry...all very masculine characteristics.  I found mySelf to be in constant conflict and dilemma when making the feeble attempts to be balanced.

As I matured it became increasingly difficult to embrace and honor both the masculine and feminine. I found mySelf playing a pre-defined role of a Girl-Woman. My inexperience and ignorance of my own sensuality and sexuality became glaringly clear...and the internal conflict was now layered with a level of complexity that I am to this day continuing to unravel. 

As I sit here writing I am thinking how very sad it is that I had no teachers, no one to talk with other than my friends who were just as conflicted as mySelf. And mind you, I spent 12 years in Catholic School which in itself is a dishonor and disservice to All Women! At the young age of 8 I was asking the priest why I was not 'Holy enough' to be an alter-server (it was a boy's only job, he exclaimed!)...I was a virgin at the time so I felt I was more than qualified for the job, who could possibly be holier than the Virgin Mary or Virgin Janet in this case!! This makes me laugh today, but back in the 60's it was shaping my beliefs and thought processes that would take me into adulthood and years of therapy and healing to resolve!

My career, climbing the corporate ladder and operating in an all male environment for 25 years was more than I could handle. Any time I showed my feminine nurturing Self I would be counseled that I was not towing the Company line...that I could not have a 'bleeding heart' and expect to be good manager. In closing...This is a life-time Journey...and today I feel I Am Walking in Beauty and Light...in All the Sacredness of the Feminine...reflecting the Beauty and Brilliant Light of those around me...




 
 
 
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Photographs of Christine Arylo by Karina Marie Diaz.
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