February 2010 Archives

Trading 40-Days of Sacrifice for 40-Days of Self-Love!

I had a revelation today on Lent that has nothing to do with religion, but has everything to do with using the power of the universe, or as I am referring to it this year... SOURCE. Remembering that this is the year I use the energy of the season vs. trying to be my own generator system, I saw a great synchronicity between three things - Madly in Love with ME Day, Lent and self love.

First Lent -- Growing up Catholic, I was taught that Lent -- the 40 days of time before Easter -- was all about giving up something you loved for 40-days, a personal symbol of sacrifice. Now I am not sure if I translated that correctly or not, but when I look back at the things I usually gave up - sugar, alcohol, smoking, lying -- what I see now is that what I always gave up was something that wasn't good for me anyway. And although at the time (because I had these not so good habits) it really did feel like some kind of sacrifice. But, what is SO apparent now is that what I was giving up wasn't a sacrifice, I was releasing a bad habit, and that was really good for my soul! The truth was that these  substances or behaviors I lived with the other 320+ days of the year, kept me separate from the universe, source, god, whatever you want to call it, and without them I was better off.

Second Madly in Love with ME Day -- What I didn't know growing up - but that I know and use now in my self-love teachings - is that the number 40 is SUPER powerful and it has nothing to do with religious background. The yogis, metaphysicians and brain scientists all agree that if you can do anything for 40 days, you can change patterns, break habits and free yourself. On February 13th - the international day of self-love - I asked every woman in the room with me at the Claremont Resort and Spa to take the challenge of doing a 40-day self-love practice called "Taking Care of ME" which is a practice that makes it easier for us women to take care of ME as well as make a difference and take care of what and who we love -- without exhausting ourselves or feeling guilty.

The practice is this:  Every morning before you get out of bed, ask yourself the question... "What do I need to do to take care of ME today?" And whatever it says... you have to do it! No matter what. Especially if feels like 'no way I don't have time. It's the only way to break the crazy patterns in your head.

I myself finished this Taking Care of ME 40-day self-love practice on February 13th (I'd never ask you to do anything I hadn't tried first) and it has changed my life!!  Doing this practice broke some pretty deeply ingrained patterns in me. Of course I knew I wanted to take care of myself - we all know that. But my brain couldn't seem to find the 'time.' The problem I learned was not 'time' ... the problem was deep conditioning in me that stemmed from a basic lack of trust that if I wasn't 'DOING' it, it wasn't happening. After 40 days of challenging myself to do life differently, my brain now understands that when I take care of me, stop doing, create space and relax, I get more done because the universe chimes in and helps (along with lots of other people!).

Self-Love, Lent & 40 Days -- So now back to this energy that is SO available for each of us right now - no matter what your beliefs or background are.,I say, lets use Lent as a 40-day period that can be about letting go of patterns that are not self-loving. Let's make it about letting more love into our lives vs. all that hard work, toil and sacrifice business. Many spiritual leaders say that LOVE is the most powerful thing in the universe... not misery or suffering. That LOVE has the potential to change the world, and therefore each one of our lives.

So when you look forward at the next 40-days, what pattern do you want to let go of ... or what energy do you want to invite in to your life... that will bring MORE SELF LOVE to you?

How about the Take Care of ME self-love practice??
or
I'm doing a 40-day practice of RECEIVING, where I am repatterning myself to be a better receiver, by using the lens of "Am I receiving?" for every request, offer or situation I find myself in.
or
A 40-day practice of the Comparison Diet, where you give up comparing yourself to everyone else, including yourself. No judgments or comparisons, just self-love.

Whichever practice you choose, I invite you do so from the energy of self love vs. sacrifice. The energy in which you do anything has the biggest impact on the outcome... just think about it... how much happier and successful are you when you do something out of love vs. when you have to give something up?

Give yourself the gift of the self-love, starting today... and we'll all check in with each other along the way, celebrating in 40-days with the rebirth of a greater SELF than when we started.

The unsustainable lifestyle of the modern day woman

 

Feed the kids.  Get a raise.  Loose the weight.  Clean the house.  Wear the lingerie.  Whew!  It is tiring being a woman these days.  We have more opportunities, self-confidence and independence than any generation of women before, yet something isn't working. 

Why is it so exhausting?   And why do we always feel like we can never catch up?

 

Being the recovering achievement junkie that I am, as well as a woman on a quest to really understand all the ways women love and don't love themselves this is the answer I have come up with...

While we all know that the earth needs to be sustainable in order to survive, we've failed to realized that WE need to be sustainable in order to thrive. We -- our bodies, our minds, our spirits - are NOT SUSTAINABLE based on how we live today, yet we think we should just be able to downward dog,  multi-task or prioritize our way out of this... and it's not working!

Think about how many times you've said to your girlfriend, "I'm so overwhelmed" or "I'd love to but I don't have time." Or even worse, remember the times you didn't reach out and instead went to that dark place of feeling super alone, like the entire world was on your shoulders.

 

Women today face pressures like no other generation. We have more opportunities but not more happiness. A recent study by Time Magazine showed women today are no happier than women were in the 1970s, before the women's movement and equal rights.

 

Does that mean that equality was bad?  No, the feminist movement was hugely important to raising the standards of life for women around the world, and like anything it had unintended consequences which we now have to deal with so that we can figure out what is right for today's woman."

 

The unintended consequences:

 

·       Too many roles. Mom. Money Maker. And Major Caretaker. 40% of women are the major breadwinners in their families, and 55% report that they still take care of most of the responsibilities at home. So you can understand why...

·       Women Are Running Themselves Into Exhaustion. It's estimated that 80% of women are so overworked and stressed that they suffer from adrenal gland fatigue, whether they know it or not. Women slough off or mistreat the symptoms like weight gain, fatigue, insomnia, depression, cravings and mood swings, and then, because they aren't listening to their bodies warning signals, they end up with serious health concerns like auto-immune and thyroid disease.

 

 

What Can Women Do About It?

It's been said that women will change the world, and I firmly believe that, however, we won't  change anything if we don't take care of ourselves first! And we need to support each other to do so. So this year, I am daring every woman to make 2010 the year she takes care of herself as well as everything else in her life... without exhausting herself in the process!

THE DARE : a 40-day Self Love Practice

To kick off this dare, on February 13^th, the international day of self-love (a.k.a. Madly in Love with ME Day), I'm asking you to commit to a 40-day self-love practice called Taking Care of ME. Every morning for 40-days before you get out of bed, ask yourself, "What do I need to do to take care of me today?" And then listen. Whatever it says, you have to do it. Take a nap. Start work at noon. Whatever.

Why? I know that you want to take care of yourself, but your brain tells you that you don't have time. And time is so not the issue! You literally need to reprogram your brain to have new beliefs that support you taking care of you. Beliefs that you can rest, relax and take care of you... and everything will still be taken care of. Brain scientists, yogis and metaphysicans agree if you can do anything for 40 days you can change your habits. 

Do you dare???

MY DARE: What I learned from doing this dare.

I've been doing this self love practice for the past 36 days, and honestly,  there have been days it has really kicked my butt! Especially the day it said, 'Do Not start work til noon' and I said, "Are you crazy?" I have a presentation, a zillion things to do and then some. But I made the pact with myself so I had to do it, and I did, and what happened? My entire presentation downloaded into me while I was sitting in the sun at 11am, my intern showed up and did a bunch of stuff, and all the pieces fell into place.

I have been learning to trust. I have been rewiring very deep beliefs that if I don't do it, no one will. If I don't do it, my life will fall apart. And I've come face to face again with my achievement junkie who runs me harder than anyone else ever could.

Check out this clip from ABC-TV where I talk about my 40-day Taking Care of ME Dare. I wouldn't ask you to do anything I hadn't done myself!

http://abclocal.go.com/kgo/story?section=view_from_the_bay/everything_else&id=7255902