Are You Free to Love?

Many of us say that we want love

We spend tons of energy

Sometimes even money

On trying to find it

But then I wonder

Are we really open to receiving it

Once it shows up on our doorstep

Or do we actually shut the door

On the very thing we want most

Does your heart open wide when love knocks on your door?

Expanding and opening to let the love flow in.

Or does your heart contract, recoil and pull back

Peer out the window, want to open the door so badly, but is too afraid

Of what would happen if it let love in again?

Does your heart rush in with open arms to find and embrace connection in this world

Expecting to receive love back

Knowing that love is everywhere when you know where to look

And when your heart is open to receive it?

Or is your heart cautious, having been hurt before,

So it doesn't let itself open too wide or let too many people in

Instead of skipping through life freely and joyfully

Is your heart walking safely and securely never risking too much?

It's okay you know,

We've all be hurt

We've all had our innocent pure loving hearts smacked around

Stepped on

Looked over

Rejected

Abandoned

And as a result,

You may have built big walls around your heart

So you'd never be hurt again

Or you may have taken all the walls down

Hoping you'd be loved again, if you just gave more of yourself away.

And although you were doing what you needed to do

To protect yourself at the time

The truth is that what actually protects you most is not walls or the giving of yourself away,

The biggest protection you have in life is love.

But love can only protect you if you let it in.

Love can only serve you if you let it.

All love needs is permission to open the door of your heart again.

Think of all the ways that love comes knocking on your heart's door today:

When a stranger smiles

Do you smile back and let the love permeate your heart

Or do you give a fake obligatory smile or pretend you didn't notice?

When someone approaches you with the offer of a hug

Do you let the embrace fully envelope you

Letting all your body parts touch, chest, belly and arms

Or do you politely offer a few pats on the back, never touching hearts

Or do you go for the A frame hug, letting your upper chest touch but the hug stops there.

When someone offers to help you or pays you a compliment

Does your heart open wide to say THANK YOU! YES! I will receive that

Or do you push back their gift

Saying you can handle it on your own

Or "this old thing, I've had it for years!"

When someone offers you a chance to connect during your 'busy' day

Do you stop and make time for love

Or do you skip by the moments in life in which love is offered

Putting it on hold for when you have time,

But those times come far and few between?

When you wake up in the morning

Do you look around and notice the magic and splendor of the beauty of this world?

Do you fill your heart with all that you are grateful for

Or do you jump out of bed without noticing much of anything

Except thinking of all the things you have to do or all that you haven't yet done?

When you find yourself in relationship with an intimate partner, a lover, a mate

Do you let down your walls of protection

And show them the truth of your heart and soul

Even in the times, especially in the times, when you are afraid?

Do you lean in with an open heart to create the intimacy that you desire,

Or do you use love as a weapon, or say you want intimacy but then don't offer it?

Do you settle for less than the deep emotional connection that only two open hearts can create

And tell yourself that what you have is enough.

When your heart knows that it is not?

What if today, you let your heart speak freely.

What would she or he say?

What one daring act of love would you be willing to take

To risk letting love walk in your heart's door?

To set your heart free

To do what it does best

To love.

And in return allow you to revel and trust in that love forever.

Popular author of Choosing ME before WE, Every Woman's Guide to Life and Love, Christine Arylo has been called the Queen of Self-Love. Her insights, fresh perspectives and daring take on love, in all its forms, have been featured on TV and radio stations across the country, in the world's top spas and retreat centers, and in colleges and corporations. She is the founder of Madly in Love with ME, an international movement of self-love, which includes a free self-love kit downloadable at www.ChooseSelfLove.com. She is also the co-founder of Inner Mean Girl Reform School, a virtual school where women go to transform their self-sabotaging voices into self-empowering ones.