June 2012 Archives

Every day since you could watch a TV or hear a radio or read a magazine, you were told a message. A harmful message, that made you believe things about yourself that weren't true. What my sister of self love and co-founder of Inner Mean Girl Reform School Amy Ahlers calls a Big Fat Lie.

This message which came from all kinds of places, made the little you, believe "You are not enough" ... so you spent years and years, trying to do and be and have all the things that would finally make you enough... and still today, as an adult, the truth is, you don't really believe you are, not really. Not at the deepest levels where it counts.

You see the message of "YOU are NOT enough" became food for your inner critic - or your Inner Mean Girl or Dude" as I like to call it... and ever since it's been feasting on this big fat lie, fueled by a media and culture that thrives on YOU believing it. 

So over the years, your Inner Mean Girl or Dude has become very strong and big... self-sabotaging your dreams, your love life, you life really... filling you up with self-doubt, self-criticism, self-neglect and even self-hate.

Until NOW that is!! See inside of you you also have two WAY more powerful forces -- the arch nemesis twins of your inner critic... Your Inner Muse and your Inner Wisdom.

And today in this blog I am going to share with you two short but mighty ways to feed these pieces of you instead of that inner critic that's been tormenting the little you and the big you for way too long.

One: Watch the love letter video I taped with one of my B.F.F.'s the transformational artist and poet, Shiloh Sophia McCloud...  she is master at activating the muse with just the right messages that erase those crazy inner mean girl/dude thoughts. Go here to watch.

Two: Attend an Inner Mean Girl Reform School tele-jam -- and get 3 super power tools for turning the self sabotaging voice in your head into a self empowering self loving ally instead. Go here to register, it's gratis on me. 

And if you dare, go ahead and leave a comment here taking a stand for giving up negative self-talk for good and taking on the belief I AM ENOUGH... I CHOOSE TO GIVE UP NEGATIVE SELF TALK... I CHOOSE TO BELIEVE I AM ENOUGH....

think of this blog like a wall of self-love... I see you!

That is the very question -- Is it possible to live stress free? -- I found myself asking myself as I sat in Costa Rica looking out at the jungle, feeling for the first time in a long time, completely free of stress.

And while in Costa Rica I have to say the answer was yes.

And i have to tell you stress-free felt really good!

So good that I found myself sitting there getting a little mad about how much stress I knew was waiting for me back home...

I didn't want to lose that feeling of freedom, inner peace, ease... I wanted to take it with me.

Maybe you can relate? After going on vacation, taking a long weekend, a day off? Feeling the stress melt away, and not wanting to take it back on but feeling almost powerless to do anything else.

What I realized in Costa Rica and I am going to share with you now in this love letter, is that the only way that I was going to NOT pick up all the stress when I got back home, was for me to get honest about all the ways in which i was making it okay for stress to take over my life.

And instead of being a victim to the stress... be empowered to make a different choice when it showed up.

And instead of being surprised or mad when stress emerged... taking pre-emptive action so stress couldn't come creeping in.

The process and meditation I went through on the deck in that jungle was transformative... it burned up a few stress creators on the spot... and while stress is still knocking on my door, I can say that after a month of being home, the stress gremlins have not taken back over control! Although they keep trying!

You have a VERY IMPORTANT JOB to do this summer!

HAVE FUN!
Lots of it.
Spontaneous fun... unplanned... magical... the kind you used to have before there was so much 'work' to do!

Yes, I know you have tons to do... lots of people and projects depending on you, that's true.

But what is also true is that YOU are depending on you - not just to take those 'planned vacations and trips' you've got jotted down for the summer...

But to LIVE YOUR SUMMER like the SUMMER OF LOVE... free, happy, and full of self-love (you can skip the bell bottoms and psychedlics and just go for the simple F-U-N)

Watch this weeks love letter video where I share 3 of the biggest threats to your summer of FREEDOM and HAPPY and LOVE... and 3 simple things you can do every day so you don't have to wait for vacation to have a great summer... I'll be doing them right along with you, in fact, I've already started (notice the scenery!)

1.  Tell your Inner Mean Girl or Inner Mean Dude to head to summer camp next time they tell you that you can't play because you better keep working!  Need help, come to one of my Inner Mean Girl Reform School tele-jams http://www.innermeangirl.com

2.  No keeping your heart closed to magical spontaneous invitations!  Say YES!!!!

3.  Receive the assistance of the Divine -- forget trying to do it all on your own - you'll never have time for fun doing life that way... ask the Divine for help and then let it help you!  Need some help opening up those channels?  Join me for Wine and the Divine http://www.wineandthedivine.com

This summer... have FUN - lots of it.... you are depending on you to give it to yourself.

Top 5 Reasons People DON'T Get the Support and Relationships they Want ... and What You Need Instead

1. You expect things people can't give you. You are putting the wrong expectations on people, setting yourself up for disappointment and hurt feelings. Not everyone fits into your inner ring, even though you want them to.

You need to put people in the right "Love Rings" to set the right expectations, levels of vulnerability and levels of intimacy.

2. You put all your love eggs in one basket. You are looking for 1 or 2 relationships to give you all the support you need, so when those relationships don't work well, you starve.

You need more supportive relationships.

3. You are using faulty strategies that don't work, no matter how hard you try. You weren't given the wisdom about how relationships really work, probably because the people around you weren't very good at them, either.

You need new skills and love strategies that create more support, not more drama.

4. Your heart is over-protected so the support (the love) can't get in ... for good reason. You built defenses to protect your heart when you got hurt in the past. But that protection is actually keeping you from getting what you need.

You need to learn how to understand your brand of protection and open yourself up to the right people.

5. You've settled for less, and you don't know how to receive more. You've allowed non-loving, inconsistent, non-respectful relationships to hang out in your life.

You need to take a stand for having ONLY loving, respectful, consistent relationships, period.


If you want more support you need to make a commitment to loving yourself enough to get all of the things you need, as listed above.

Give that most of us are 'relationship challenged' ... scared to death of real intimacy and vulnerability... and brain washed to be only givers not receivers, most of us need help, support and inspiration to create the kinds of relationships that can be super supportive and loving.

Which is exactly why I created the 40-day Choosing ME before WE self-love adventure - a course designed to help you to create the best relationships of your life.

It's been called

A life-changing. transformative, awakening and empowering experience

Go here to check it out -- we'd love to have you join us for a community of hundreds of people who have said YES to the best relationships of their lives!

How often do we, do you, try to do it all on your own? Struggle to 'figure' it out? Feel like there is no way to create what you really want? And then feel defeated, feel like you are a failure, and feel all alone.

Too often.

Your mind loves to convince you that it should be the one in control, and then it goes out into the world to seek out all kinds of evidence to prove this to be true.

This love letter offers a different way... 

It's an invitation and instruction on how to REMEMBER to place a service call to God for assistance...

before you need to dial 9-1-1... place a call to say "I need your help universe, divine, God, whatever name you like to use... please show me the way."

And then use the steps I share with you in this love letter to find your way.

What do you really desire in your life today?
Where do you need some divine assistance?

Plug in to your 24/7 downline to the divine, press the button and ask for divine assistance- because if you don't press the service button, its' hard for all that light to come in! (notice the words ALL-LIGHT on the button!)

Yep, you are going to put in a service call and ILLUMINATE the path of least resistance by dialing in for some divine assistance!
 
Call Up the Divine and Ask for Some Assistance!

DARING ACT OF LOVE
Dial Up Divine Assistance ... everyday

Everyday for the next 7 days, dial up the divine and ask for it's help. Just like you would make a phone call to a friend, you will place a call to God. And you will ask for help - whatever that assistance is that you need to find your way. Use the four steps as I shared in the video:

1. Ask for Assistance - literally ask God/divine/universe for what you need - not "want" - but need and truly desire, from your heart! And say, "I need your help... please show me the way"
   
2. Surrender - now you have to give over the control to the divine. Take it away from your mind and let the divine drive. Surrender to the possibility that more magical things can happen than your tiny mind could imagine.
   
3. Acknowledge It -- when the divine shows up to give you the guidance, most likely in a form that you don't expect or maybe even recognize right away, say Thank you, I see you divine. Thank you for answering! And listen.
   
4. Act on it - whatever piece of popcorn shows up to illuminate your path, that says, go this way... go this way... go that way. Take ONE step towards your lit up life and then ask again. 

If you meditate in the mornings, make the phone call then. Add this step to your meditation. If you don't meditate set your phone alarm to a specific time of day and when the alarm goes off, stop, drop and dial in. Be open to what you receive in return, it won't often look like what you expect! 

You can't do this alone, you don't have to, but you do have to ask and receive the help!

KNOW that... you deserve the love of the divine. All you have to do is open up to receive it. May the love flow to you and may you receive the guidance, wisdom and magic you need.

And for extra divine assistance, feel free to post your "ask" here too - we'd love to witness you as you dial up the divine!