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Recently in Holidays Category
TWIGGLY DANGLERi couldn't find a picture of one, so I will just have to define it here for you right now. the word comes from the imagination of my teacher Ariel Spilsbury. I think it's fairy language for any kind of bad ju ju or undealt with energy that you would rather sweep under the carpet but no matter how hard you sweep, or how hard you try to ignore it, you know that 'thing' is still there. TWIGGLY DANGLER EXAMPLESso maybe if i give you a few samples, that will help? - that unpaid bill you haven't dealt with, 401k you haven't transferred, bank account with $5 in it you haven't closed... $$ twiggly danglers cut off your flow in 2010.
- that friendship, relative, co-work relationship that hit a bump sometime this year and that you haven't really straightened out. You haven't totally severed the relationship, but you are either not being straight, or you are avoiding them or the issue, or you are harboring negative energy. Let the bump between you go. Twiggly danglers in relationships stop love from coming in.
- that romantic relationship that ended but that you are still hanging onto. if you have this twiggly dangler in your heart, you can kiss great love from another goodbye in 2010. Let go of as much of that person you can - old clothes, letters, and dreams.
- that unsaid sentiment or feeling. whether its love or hurt, if you have unsaid words between you and another person in your life, say them. Directly, or indirectly. You can write a letter and never mail it. These unsaid words fester and keep truth and peace out of your life.
the truth about twiggly danglers is that there is NO self love present.... the energy feels yucky... and you feel lousy, guilty or drained. You'll have plenty of chances to create more in 2010, so starting the year clear and free can avoid the twiggly dangler pile up! TWIGGLY DANGLER REMEDIES
i think that many people go from one year to the next with this twigglies because let's be honest, dealing with them is uncomfortable. Dealing with twiggly danglers head on can bring up all kinds of icky feelings none of us like - shame, rejection, loneliness, disappointment. Talk about not feeling self-love! But the truth is that self-love is on the other side, if we are willing to untangle the twigglies. So this year, before 2009 ends, meet your twiggly danglers head on, just don't do it in a super public way. No one said you had to splay your twigglies out there for all to see. If it's a bill you've been neglecting, pick it up and send them $10. If it's a friend you've had a falling out with, write them a letter telling them how you feel including how much you love them and are mad at them. You don't have to ever send it. If it's a relationship that has become like an addiction, make the vow to fall in love with yourself this coming year. You deserve your best year yet this 2010! So take PAUSE and let those twiggly danglers go. To learn more about the super power of PAUSE visit http://www.daretoliveyou.com/superpowerofpause/
Take a Pause:
If winter is a time for slowing down, but we are feeling the pressure to speed up, how can we fuel our bodies from something other than a caffeinated paper cup?
I was sitting in a cafe the other day thinking about my adrenal glands. Yes, I know, it's not a topic that flies through most peoples heads at 10am in the morning on a Wednesday. But I was preparing for a conversation later that evening on my show Self Love Studio with a woman who had told me that she had almost burned her adrenals out at the age of 38. Not having a clue as to what an adrenal actually was or why I should care, I asked her what that meant. She told me that she had been feeling tired, so she went to her doctor to find out why. What she heard was not what she expected. He told her that she was headed for adrenal burnout. That if she kept pushing herself to do do do, if she kept living on the energy of her adreneline, if she kept fueling her body with 'stop gaps' like coffee and sugar, she was headed for a complete breakdown of her nervous system and other systems by the time she was 50.
Wow! I wonder how tired my adrenals are I thought. I've certainly done all those things as well. I think I have had actually had moments where I felt myself hear my adrenal glands scream, "Christine stop working. We need to rest now!" In my 20s I never listened. In my 30s I learned how. At age 38 I am still learning how ;)
So it got me to thinking as I sat there with my paper cup drinking some energy that I told myself was just for the taste, but in fact I know was for an energy boost... It got me thinking about why during the holidays do we give ourselves more permission to rely on the short-lived energy boosts that are SO easily attainable - cookies, cakes, pies, parties, cinnamon Starbuck lattes. Why do we rely on these boosts to get us through this crazy time of year where nature is telling us to slow down and we are doing the opposite, and then using fake fuel to get us through it.
My husband Noah says I ask "Why?" a lot. He says that the better question is "So What Do I Want to Do About It?" He says that his question actually leads to change, while mine he says leads to more Whys? So for this one time, I decided to try it his way. I took a PAUSE ... being that we are praciting the self-love dare of PAUSE this month, and here is the wisdom the PAUSE brought me. I now share it with you...
The Issue:
December is a time for slowing down. We are all feeling pressure to speed up. So we turn to 'fake fuel' like coffee and sugar to keep us going.
So What Do I Want to Do About It?
Use the power of the Season vs. the power of Starbucks to keep my energy high and my calorie intake low!
The Wisdom from the PAUSE?
3 ways to fuel yourself from nature vs. a paper cup.
- Do what the Native Americans used to do: RETAIN your energy. They survived without Starbucks and they had to survive through some pretty harsh and long winters. So unlike us they weren't running around like crazy people spending all their energy. They conserved their energy and spent it wisely, knowing that they wanted to always have more in reserve. So this December, notice how you spend your energy. Literally feel your body putting it out as you do your day, give to others and take part in the holiday fun. Be consious about how you spend your energy and always make sure you are retaining more than you are giving.
- Take a lesson from those smart bears: STOCKPILE your energy. The bears are preparing to hibernate so I imagine Momma Bear getting all her shelves filled with the staples she will need for the winter. Jars of honey, crackers, and the like and then napping in between. Find time in your days, every day when you can stockpile your energy, like jars of honey on a shelf you can use later. Today, I took a 30 minute nap. Set my Iphone alarm and recharged. Power Yoga and SPIN class doesn't count. Winter stockpiling should have a nesting and a replenishing quality to it. Yin yoga good. Naps, reading, taking a bath, chanting, a walk in nature.
- If you need an Energy pick me up, use the closest thing you have to you - your breath. If you've done yoga or meditation you've probably learned breath techniques like deep breathing, breath of fire and alternate nostril breathing. Use them. If you do any one of these practices for 5 minutes, you will instantly increase your energy, no calories taken in, in fact you'll burn some off. If you haven't done these breathing techniques you can check out this video for Pranayama breathing which is alternate nostril breathing or search you tube on your own. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MCK1jBfRVsE&feature=SeriesPlayList&p=DCD427CFFB5AA38A
I am giving my adrenal glands the gifts of retaining, stockpiling and breathing my energy this holiday season. What are you going to give yours? For more information on how you can use the power of PAUSE http://www.daretoliveyou.com/superpowerofpause
Bears never feel guilty about staying home for the holidays, so why should we?
I was thinking again about those self-loving bears and how they spend the holidays. At home, in their cave, probably with a nice fire and some honey. And definitely without the guilt, obligation or pressure so many of us feel laden with at this holiday time. In our day to day life, we do feel pressure to take care of everyone and everything else and at the holidays this feeling doesn't go away, it usually gets stronger. Whether it's making sure the holiday dinner is cooked perfectly, the holiday party is a smash success, cards are sent out on time, or we've bought presents for everyone so no one feels left out. As women we are naturally giving, and that is a feminine super power that we want to hold onto, for sure. But, sometimes we give so much to others, that we forget to give to ourselves. We put our self-love on hold, especially during the holidays. Guilt. Stress. Obligation. Our lack of self love and over giving nature can show up in a million ways. Like maybe you don't really want to go visit Aunt Sally or spend the entire day with your husband's family or pack up everything and travel during this crazy holiday time. Maybe you just want to stay home and cook dinner for your close friends and family. Or maybe you want to go skiing in Tahoe or even spend the day doing absolutely nothing. Or maybe something totally different. But you don't feel like you can just say, "NO, I don't want to do 'that' I want to do 'this' instead. Or maybe you don't even feel like you know why you want, you just know it's not that. We are usually so busy doing the holidays, that we never even pause to "How do I really want to spend the holidays?" Give Yourself the gift of PAUSEIt's Dec 4th, what is the holiday you really want to have?
What is going to make YOU happy?
1. What are the activities that make you really really really happy during the holidays? List out your top 5. This is your list of Holiday Happys. And then answer the question, 'Why do these make me happy?" 2. What are the activities that you really really really DON'T like, but that you do because you feel like you should, or because you don't want to let down someone else? This is your list of Holiday Obligations. List out your top 5. Answer the question for each, "Why do I do these if they don't make me happy?" 3. Compare your Holiday Happys to your Holiday Obligations. What's the self-love AHA for you? What can you learn about yourself? Now for the Self-Love Dare
Self Love Dare #12
Give Up the Guilt.
This Holiday, Only Do What Makes You Happy
Look at your list of Holiday Obligations, the things you do out of obligation, guilt or some other downer of a reason during the holidays. One by one, either change this into a Holiday Happy, or stop doing it. Changing Holiday Obligations into Holiday Happys:1. Get to the core of the reason this is important to YOU. Not to anyone else, but to you. 2. Determine what piece of it you do out of guilt or obligation, which is usually tied to a person or fear. 3. How can you do what is important to you, and do it from your heart with love for yourself and this other person/people? If you have an answer, great, do that. If you have no answer, stop doing it. My personal self-love dare #12 story:
I took this dare about six years ago when I moved to California and my grandmother, for the first two years, would say, "I wish you would come home for Christmas." I loved my grandmother, she and I were very close, AND I also knew that I wanted to spend my holidays in California in my home. So when she asked me to come, I would have this internal conflict of not wanting to let her down, and also not wanting to let me down. So on the second year when she again asked me to come home, I took a Pause. What I learned in that Pause was that I really did want to see my grandmother, I loved spending time with her, but I didn't like traveling in December to only get to see her for a few hours at Christmas when the rest of the family was around. So after my Pause, I said to her, "Grandma I love you very much and I know it's important to you for me to come home for the holidays. I really want to spend time with you and during the holidays we just don't get enough one on one time, so how about I come in January for your birthday for a few days." It took her a few minutes to warm up to the idea (she was stubborn like me or me like her I guess), but her heart lit up and like that mine did too, and in January, I arrived in the frozen tundra of Chicago into the warm embrace of my grandmother, who I loved very much. We hung out, ate at our favorite restaurant and watched Dancing with the Stars together. She passed away last year, and I will always have that memory of her and I.
TAKE A PAUSE
3 things self-loving bears can teach us about conserving our energy & money this holiday season, using the Feminine Super Power of PAUSE. It's December, so what do us crazy humans do? Run around like energizer bunnies gone mad, running from party to party, store to store, gift wrapping to cooking baking. Bright lights, big sales and big pressure to see and be everywhere. It is a season that we spend DOING.  \Now compare that to the animals that live in the forest, that live lock and step with nature, following the natural cycle of living on earth. Take the bear for instance, what is he or she up to in December? Is she out canvassing all the holiday sales hoping to get that DVD player on sale? Is he running around from grocery store to grocery store worrying that he won't have enough food to feed the guests for the party he's planned? No way! This smart four legged creature is getting her house (or cave as the case may be) in order, stocking up on all the goods she will need to get her through the frozen winter. She's not spending her stock, she's savoring and saving it, using it slowly. This wise animal has tuned into a station we too often ignore: nature. And for the entire month of December this station is broadcasting one message: SLOW DOWN! So what do we humans do? We speed up! The opposite of what the energy of the season is asking for. No wonder we are dead tired come Dec 28th, and then we pep up for one last go around on New Year's and then spend the next two months trying to work off all the excess we sped up to create. Now to be fair, bears don't face the pressure you do. They aren't bombarded with Christmas advertising campaigns. Or relatives and friends that all want to share in the holiday cheer. Self love comes easier to them. But they do have some behaviors you can use this holiday season that can help you SLOW DOWN and at the same time still enjoy all the love and fun that abounds. I know you may not believe me, but it is actually in your nature to SLOW DOWN... when you tap into your Feminine Super Power of PAUSE. You've just got to slow down long enough to listen. Try these bear-proven tactics: 1. DON'T GIVE ALL YOUR HONEY AWAY, SAVE SOME FOR YOURSELFThe self-loving, smart bear loves to share her gifts, time and energy, with those she loves, especially her prized honey, but she never empties her shelves. And she never feels guilty for keeping honey for herself. So for you... yes, give to the people and things that you love this holiday season, and RETAIN energy for yourself too. Remember to GIVE to yourself. And do it before you run yourself into a cold or a sore neck. When you start feeling that run down sensation or the stress kick in, ask yourself, "Am I giving all my honey away?" And then do something to replenish. 2. SPEND EXTRA TIME IN YOUR CAVE
The self-loving, smart bear isn't romping around the forest in December using up all her energy, she is spending extra time loving being in her cave. After all, she's worked hard all year to make it cozy. December is a time of going inward and it's more natural to want to cozy up at home than to flit from party to party every night. Pick your social outings wisely, doing the ones that fill you up the most. Don't be afraid to pass on social obligations that don't totally light you up. Decline politely, wish them holiday cheer, and then create a cozy, warm space inside your home full of self love, magic and holiday beauty. Use that energy to fill you up. 3. DON"T APOLOGIZE FOR DOING WHAT YOU WANT
The self-loving smart bear knows that she knows what is best for her and she doesn't waste her vital energy carrying around feelings of guilt or obligation. She does what she needs to do and wants to do, without apologizing to the other bears. She's never rude, always full of love, and she has no qualms about setting healthy boundaries. Make this a holiday that you do your way. Set the intention that you will fill yourself up with energy, love and happiness this holiday, and anything that doesn't ftl those three bills, you can pass on, without guilt or obligation. For more ideas on how to fall more in love with you, every day this winter, download the free madly in love with me kit at http://www.madlyinlovewithme.com
While it's hard to deny that not many of us would want to end up stuffed, cooked and on display on a dining room table today, like the fate of many millions of turkeys, after giving it much thought, I think that we can learn a thing or two about self love from our feathered friends. While, these big birds may have a shorter life expectancy than us homo sapiens, they've got it a heck of lot easier when it comes to loving the bird they are, just as they are: 5 reasons why it's easier for turkeys to love themselves
1. Being fatter is a plus. These birds aren't hoping their thighs are too small, they want them as plump as possible. And breasts? Make those bigger too! They get to eat all day long and never feel guilty. Self-love is easier when you are not obsessed with how those calories are going to show up on your thighs.
2. They all look the same, so there's no bird comparison. No
inner mean birdie critics for these turkeys. Red gobblers, white heads
and brown feathers. I have them. You have them. Self love is a cinch when there is nothing for your inner mean girl or boy to compare you to and make you feel less than or not good enough.
3. Their heads are too small to house an inner critic. Even if they did want to compare themselves, that tiny brain couldn't create the synapses to create the thoughts we humans use to beat ourselves up. Self love is more simple when life is just about eating, gobbling and hanging out with your flock.
4. They're naked. These birds aren't hung up about their bodies because they are naked all day long for all the birds and animals to see. They are liberated! Add to that the fact that they don't have to worry about designer labels and you can see how loving their bodies is a heck of lot easier.
5. They all have the same job, so no one feels substandard. As long as they make it to the Thanksgiving Day table as a respectable bird, they've done their job. Self love is easier when you are not comparing what you've achieved to everyone else. Self love is easier when you live in a society that's not always telling you that what you have isn't enough. Self love is easier when you can celebrate what you've accomplished, who you are and the impact you have on the world.
On this day of thanksgiving, it seems to me that we can all learn a thing or two from the turkey. Most of all, I wish us all to take a moment and celebrate ourselves.
Be grateful to yourself for yourself.
Be grateful for all that you have accomplished.
Be grateful for all the people whose lives you've impacted personally.
Be grateful for the chance to be YOU everyday for the rest of your life.
Being Wise... taking in the wisdom across generations
by Christine, age 37
As I read the blogs and think of my own life, I know that doing what you want for the holidays regardless of the expectations people throw at you are is easy, and hard, as two things: Truth and Love. TRUTH. Every one of us owes it to ourselves to be honest about what we really want and need during the holidays. For me, it's different every year. This year it's space, my home, joy and good food. I'll spend my holidays nestled into home with my partner, my dog and the Christmas music and white lights that make my heart all warm and fuzzy. I always ask myself, "What do I need and want this holiday? And what will give me what I want?" I think all women should ask those same questions, and then commit to doing what they want - before telling their friends and family. You've got to be super resolved inside yourself to claim what you want or else you'll crumble at the first sign of resistance. Let's face it, it's one thing to say what you want; it's another to follow through. I know that when I am clear on my intentions and committed to doing what makes me happy, I end up in situations in which I feel great. Whatever your holiday wish is this year, find it, and give it to yourself. LOVE. First, we've got to love ourselves enough to believe we deserve what we want - time by ourselves, intimate conversations, a trip to the snow, staying home, etc. Then, when we step forward and express our plans or desires, we've got to do it from the place of love instead of from the place of being the dutiful daughter, the good girl, the victim or the raving righteous madwoman. I stopped flying back to the Midwest for holiday gatherings the year after I moved to California. I didn't make some grand statement that pronounced, "I will not be returning for the holidays whether you like it or not, so deal with it" and I didn't get all wimpy by apologizing for not showing up. After getting really clear that I loved being in California for the holidays (aka LOVE for ME first), I shared why I was staying in California to the relatives that asked. Some got it, some didn't. But I spoke from my heart with all of them, and that left me guilt-free, full of joy and ready to enjoy my holiday, my way. Step forward this year with love in your heart, truth in your soul and spend your holidays, your way... whatever that looks like for you.
Olive, age 13, says:
One thing I hate about the holidays is having to pretend that I believe in Santa. I don't! He's not real! I always have to have presents from Santa for my cousins and siblings so that they think Santa is real. I hate having to play a part in all of this. Last Christmas, my step-mom put chocolate covered raisins on the floor saying the reindeer pooped in our house. Sure, IT'S HILARIOUS! But having to go along with all of it just bugs me. I have to say, "Oh my gosh! They pooped in our house!" And then of course my dad and step-mom eat the cookies and carrots so even though I play along with this lie, I don't even get to eat the cookies! Also, since "it would drive my little sister crazy" I don't get to have an advent calendar! Or if my little sister has one I'm not allowed to have one because then she will want to have mine. How about just tell her that she can't have mine and she'll have to deal with it?! I really don't know how my Jewish cousins do it either. Them going to school and singing songs about Santa when they know that Santa isn't real and they have to lie to everybody? It would drive me nuts! I deal with it because I love my family and if that's what I need to do to make them happy then so be it. They do so much for me and I really just love the holidays, snow, and presents so it's hard to complain. I just hope that when my cousins and sister are older they won't ask me why I lied to them. Happy Holidays Everybody!
Christin, age 25, says:
 This is a tough question because guilt is a very dear friend of mine. ☺ The concept of detachment is one that has helped me tremendously. Not a heartless sentiment but the divine detachment that comes with tremendous compassion and presence. One very valuable trick I learned came from a fabulous book called "When Difficult Relatives Happen to Good People" - when a relative or a friend engages in outrageous behavior that is embarrassing and would usually result in feelings of guilt; the trick is to step back in your mind observing the situation like a complete stranger and calmly say to yourself, "Hmm. I wonder whose relative that is." Removing the reactive emotions from the situation keeps me guilt free, still part of the social event and my personal power intact. Plus, it makes me giggle inside. This question reminds myself that the other person's behavior is neither my fault nor is it my problem. The other thing I do is take stock of the situation with my "realistic goggles" on. If I know that after four hours of drinking, Brother Timmy says hurtful things he doesn't mean, or that at 8:00 o'clock Aunty Mildred shows up and judges my lifestyle choices, or after two hours my friend from college gets over- the-top bossy - I prepare myself for the situation by accepting it with detachment or arranging my schedule to exit the situation before the inevitable happens. It is usually perfectly acceptable as long as I am upfront about my expectations and time frame with other members of the social gathering.
Anne, age 41, says:
I remember one year I didn't want to go home for Thanksgiving, I wanted some type of adventure. I ended up going to London with my friend and I had a great time... and I got the guilt from my family. Major guilt. I had that Norman Rockwell family complete with the value system of family first no matter what. It was really hard to say, I won't be home. But something inside of me really wanted to create an independent experience that year. So I summoned up the courage, told my mom, and she took it very passive aggressively, but ultimately understood. Thanksgiving night I ate fish and chips and felt a little homesick but still had a great time. So I think that you can't control how others will respond to your decisions about things, especially when it comes to everyone's expectations around family and holidays. What I do think is that you have to make decisions about how you want to spend your time and then be aware of how your decision will affect others. And then be prepared for the consequences. The trick is to be true to yourself while honoring those around you.
Being Wise... taking in the wisdom across generations
by Christine, age 37
Today I live my holidays my way. I decide what they mean to me, who I want to spend them with, and I never do anything out of obligation. I make my choices from my heart and from what really brings me joy. But it wasn't always that way. I used to be a holiday nut. When I was in my 20's, I was that crazy Christmas chick with 12 boxes of ornaments, an 8 foot tree and enough lights to make the Griswold's jealous. I baked cookies, I sent holiday cards, I listened to Christmas music 24/7 and I had a gift list longer than Santa's. While part of this obsession was truly because of my love of the holiday spirit (It's a Wonderful Life is still one of my favorite movies), the real underlying driver was my unhappiness during the rest of the year. November and December became the months when I could forget how unhappy I was in my relationship, in my mini-mcmansion, in a life that didn't always feel so Wonderful. The holidays were like a magical wand that just whisked my memory of the unhappiness away, and for 6 weeks I was living in the jolliest of Winter Wonderlands. Thankfully, like George Bailey in It's a Wonderful Life, I got a second chance when my old unhappy life ended at the age 30. While I didn't get my wake up call from an angel named Clarence, I did realize that I didn't need all this Christmas ornamentation and hoopla to be happy. I got real about the fact that my over-drive of Christmas activities had been a way to make up for my unhappiness the other 10 months. Deep inside, the reason I had loved the holidays so much was that it gave me the opportunity to express all the love and happiness that I couldn't the rest of the year... like it had been stored up for months just waiting to be released. Over the last seven years, I shed all but 1 box of Christmas ornaments, I now keep my white lights up all year long, and I express my love and joy all year-long. I create my own Holiday rituals and gatherings based on what the holidays mean to me. This year I flew to Chicago in early December to give and receive the gift of spending time with two little girls I love to pieces... I bought a jingle bell bracelet that makes me smile... I will celebrate Winter Solstice on Dec 21st in the mountains reflecting on the year past and creating the year to be... I will spend December 25th with my soul partner and my dog remembering all that I am grateful for (and drinking fabulous wine and eating delicious food)... and I will give only those gifts that I feel inspired to give. I don't make any excuses or apologies to anyone for not being or doing what I "should." I express my choices with the holiday spirit and from a place of love, and let them do with that what they may. My holiday wish for all of us is to be and act from the truest place within ourselves, where we express the holiday spirit of love, laughter and connection while doing what brings us joy.
Olive, age 13, says:
I love the holidays. There's really not that much I would change. I do hate how people will be walking around with Santa hats on. It's not that I mind the silliness of it but are the holidays about Christmas? Absolutely...NOT! I celebrate Christmas even though I am not religious but there are so many holidays that when I see Santa it makes me realize how the US is Christian. You can even take prop. 8 as an example. Church and state don't mix. There different. Same thing here. "Well most people are Christian so let's just paint Santa all over the place." Maybe paint eight candles instead for a change. My other issue with Santa is crazy adults. Sure, I loved believing in Santa when I was growing up but this is what bothers me. "What do you want from santa this year Olive?", says some crazy person. "Um...well Santa's not real but I want-" "WHAT!?!?!?! Of course Santa is real! He always brings me presents!" "Uh, I'm 13 and I found out that Santa wasn't real when I was 8" "AWWWWW BOO-HOO! You're hurting my feelings! Santa's real!" "Well he's not real and...well...yeah I gotta go ask my mom something.. uhh yeah" I swear this happens EVERY holiday season. I don't like to be that annoying teenager who rolls her eyes at people but come on! It's ridiculous. I should not have to take that kind of harassment. I could see if maybe I was 5 but 13? I may think poo is hilarious but in this case I definitely am having to say GROW UP. I think it's funny how my parents will still label things from Santa but that's just for my little sister because she really does think that everyone gets presents from Santa. She even thinks that Santa's reindeer poo in our house judging by her reaction to my step-mom putting chocolate covered raisins on the floor. Now that was funny. I encourage everyone to embrace the holidays with welcome arms, but please, don't insist that Santa gives me my presents. If he did I would have everything ever made by Vivienne Westwood, Betsey Johnson, and Marc Jacobs. So chillax.
Christin, age 25, says:
This particular holiday go round I feel like Cindy Lou Who from The Grinch when she sings, "Where are you Christmas? Why can't I find you? ...." I feel like the whole she-bang is one big fat 'supposed to'. I mean really; parties, gift exchanges, family dinners, decorating, cleaning, fancy work get together's, presents, wrapping, baking - Even reading the list is exhausting! Why do we do this to ourselves? What is the point? One of my favorite Christmases was the year I got snowed in with my boyfriend. We woke up with no presents, warm cups of coffee and fresh snow. I remember the magic of the morning being with someone I loved so deeply and the feeling that the world was fresh and anew and special just for us. All the other rubbish - sure I missed it a little. Okay, I missed it a lot - but it was a nice change to keep it so simple. What I want this year is to remember that the resonance of the season is uncomplicated; Love, Family, Friendship, Laughter. I want us, especially as women, to hold those as priorities. To keep those as the Why's and let the What's fall into place on thier own. And when we don't show up to the proverbial Holiday Soirees held by our local Seasonal Sandy's (whom you know deep down, we don't really like anyway) - I think we might just enjoy that egg nog, take more than one pleasurable sigh, and smile.
Anne, age 41, says:
I have to say that I usually do exactly what I want for the holidays. This wasn't always the case. There was a time I definitely tried to recreate my mother's version of Christmas, complete with pie crusts made from scratch, perfect Christmas cards, and tons of cookies and gifts for everybody I knew. Now I try to keep all that to a minimum. I think the pressure to make everything all Martha Stewart comes from the frenzied need to feel like we have all of this community and attention around us. Also, the pace seems to completely speed up this time of year and I am sure that adds to it. Let's face it, the stores are playing Christmas carols before Thanksgiving complete with messaging that instructs us to show how much we care by going into credit card debt to buy more than we can afford. But the thing for me is I found the more I tried to do all that stuff, the less fun I would have and Christmas became about achievement, not Fa La La. So I have a tree, I send some cards, buy a few gifts and really try to enjoy myself without guilt. And for those people I didn't reconnect with via phone, email or cards, I will when the time is right. I think it makes it about calming down and simplicity and really enjoying my friends, kids and family. This year, my sister and I only giving each other's children one book, which is great, because I really hate the Disney store.
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