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3 super powered tools for turning your inner critic into your best business partner


by Christine Arylo and Amy Ahlers, co-founders of Inner Mean Girl Reform School


When you made the decision to start your own business, you probably got lots of advice on how to be successful, right? Solid advice like keep an eye on your expenses, create a marketing plan, put yourself out there as much as possible, etc.


But did anyone warn you that the biggest and most likely threat your business faces is not out there in the marketplace, but instead living and breathing inside of you?


Let us introduce you to your Inner Critic or Inner Mean Girl as we like to call it (or Inner Bully for all you guys out there). That negative, self-sabotaging, self-critical voice in your head tells you big fat lies like "You're not good enough," "If you try, you'll probably fail," or "You've got to work harder if you're ever going to make this business fly."


Your Inner Mean Girl / Inner Bully is the slave driver, achievement junkie, doing addict, perfectionist and wishful thinker that keeps you working like a dog, doing all the work yourself, and spending money, time, and energy in the wrong places. It's the voice that makes you feel less happy and successful than ever.


Here's the truth; you can have the best strategies, the most stellar product, but if you don't have the right mindset you will fail, and you'll exhaust yourself in the process! Or maybe you'll get lucky and reach your goals but be unable to feel successful or enjoy everything you worked so hard for. Your Inner Mean / Bully just loves to rob you of celebrating!


The best way to keep your mindset healthy, and your Inner Mean Girls / Bullies off your back is to know their toxic tricks and have an antidote in your back pocket to use when you find yourself in their grips.


After coaching entrepreneurs from all walks of life for over 17 years combined, we've developed processes that put your Inner Mean Girl and Inner Bully in their place.


Here are 3 of our favorites for shifting your mind and securing your success!


#1 Toxic Trick. Comparison

You find yourself going crazy, comparing yourself to every one else who is more successful, farther along, or more together than you. Your Comparison Queen / King is using the Inferiority Complex on you! Antidote: Compliment the person you are comparing yourself to. Dig deep and find the inspiration. Yes, that's right, reach out and tell that person how inspired you are by who they are and what they are doing. You'll be amazed at the new connections you'll create!


#2 Toxic Trick. Future Tripping

You achievement junkie is filling your head with lies like "When I hit that goal, then I'll be happy!" or "When I hit 6 figures (or 7 figures or more!), I can finally relax." Your Inner Mean Girl/Inner Bully has you running so fast to the future that you're too exhausted to enjoy today. Antidote: Get grateful for what you do have and get happy in the present. When you find your mind future tripping, stop, drop and do 10 gratitude statements. Write or say aloud what you appreciate about today. Notice how you can enjoy the moment!


#3 Toxic Trick. Unrealistic Expectations

You've just started your day and you already have a To-Do List a mile long that you are counting on getting done today. Deep down you know it's humanly impossible to accomplish them all. But your doing addict has got you convinced that you can get through the list. So you work like an energizer bunny gone mad all day, and come 8pm you've not accomplished half of what you set out to. You set yourself up to fail, and now you beat yourself up with the "I'm a loser" lie. Antidote: Take a pause and get real. When you feel yourself moving into overdrive to get it all done, pause, take a deep breath and decide on the 3 things that are most important for you to complete today. In your mind, move the rest to another day. Get real and honest with how much is reasonable for you to do today. With only those 3 things on your mind, you're guaranteed to set yourself up for success, and find time to have a personal life too!



Here's the truth - you have a one-of-a-kind gift to give the world through your great work. And if you don't take care of yourself, if you try to do it all alone, and if you don't enjoy the process along the way, you will never be able to reach your full potential.


We invite you to try these antidotes PLUS get started on transforming your own Inner Mean Girl.


Join us on September 24th for our Inner Mean Girl Reform School free open house call we're hosting called Stop the Critical Voice in Your Head from Being So Hard On You... & Start Feeling Truly Successful & Happy, Now! You'll learn the three secrets to reforming your Inner Mean Girl or Inner Bully!


CLICK here to register www.InnerMeanGirl.com





About Christine Arylo and Amy Ahlers

Christine Arylo, popular author of Choosing ME before WE, and Amy Ahlers, celebrated author of Big Fat Lies Women Tell Themselves, have taken a stand for people, especially women, everywhere to say NO! to being so hard on themselves. They are co-founders of Inner Mean Girl Reform School, a series of programs that give people tools to transform their self-sabotaging patterns into new self-empowering habits. They've successfully coached thousands of people around the world - including themselves - to take charge of their inner critics once and for all.


Visit http://www.innermeangirl.com start reforming your Inner Mean Girl / Bully now!

If you had asked me if I was a gossip and if I gossiped before yesterday, when I kicked off the Inner Mean Girl 40-day cleanse with about 6500 women, I would have given you an emphatic "NO!" I don't talk bad about people. I don't watch snarky reality TV and I (except for the occasional glance at People magazine at the airport) don't read tabloid magazines. I gave that all up along my spiritual path these last 10 years... or so I thought.

And then yesterday, on Day One of our 40-Day Cleanse, gossip tried to sneak up on me. It was like I could feel it coming on like a cold, you know when you first get that itchy throat and then all of the sudden before you know it, you have full blown snot coming out of your nose.

During an evening phone conversation with a good friend of mine, Catherine, a person who I also consider to be impeccable with her word, I relayed to her an experience I kept having that involved another woman. I asked her a question with total integrity... to try and figure out what my block was, nothing to do with the other woman. "What am I doing to create this situation?" I asked. She answered with the truth, "Nothing, the two of you just aren't supposed to be connected."

And that's when I started to feel the energy of my Inner Mean Girl looming in the background, sitting in the darkness getting ready to pounce, like an energy that wanted to jump in, take charge and "Go Rouge."  I felt this urge to ask Catherine, "Well why do you think that?" and I could feel that urge coming from this longing place inside of me... like some dark recess that wanted to be filled.

And then on the other end of me was my Inner Wisdom screaming, "Don't do it! Don't ask that question! You will just invite the Inner Mean Girl in and she'll take us down the Rabbit Hole!" Now I wish I could tell you that in all my great will power, I resisted the urge of my Inner Mean Girl and followed my Inner Wisdom... but that's not how the story goes.

The words, "Catherine, why do you think that we aren't supposed to connect?" came blurting out of my lips but in slow motion, like my Inner Mean Girl was yanking toxic taffy out of me...

UGH!

Like a rock hitting the pit of my stomach I felt the toxin of those words and it was like I could see this big movie marquee in lights flashing "GOSSIP! GOSSIP! READ ALL ABOUT IT!!"

Now here is where I did turn things around and tap into the power of this 40-day Inner Mean Girl Cleanse.  I had AWARENESS that what I was about to engage in, what I honestly started to engage in, was toxic self-sabotaging Gossip!  It what I am now dubbing "Sneaky Gossip." This variety of gossip didn't look like blantantly talking poorly about someone or putting someone down, but make no mistake about it, in some way I was trying to make myself feel better by talking about someone else, and that IS gossip.

So I used the self-love tool of Awareness that I learned, and that we teach in Inner Mean Girl Reform School, and that SARK taught us about on our launch call, to take back the power of my words from my Inner Mean Girl - ripped the steering wheel of the conversation right out of her hands - and said to Catherine, 'You know, you are right. It's okay we aren't connecting. I think what she is doing is great. And I am on the right path for me."

And in that instant you know what happened??? That hole that had been trying to be filled by my IMG with gossip, instantly filled with self-love from the Good Talk, and I felt GREAT about me and totally unattached to everything else. Way better than I would have felt if I had gone down the toxic rabbit hole and continued spewing ick from my lips.

This experience of Sneaky Gossip caused me to write a Facebook Post asking people this question:

If gossip was a color or a substance coming out of your mouth, what do you suppose it would look, feel, or taste like?

Green Goop.pngThe answers made me smile and cracked me up - and I've included a few of them here so that you can get a better handle on when Sneaky Gossip is sneaking up on you!  Even when the gossip is super subtle, you can still feel the toxin leaking from your lips...

  • Like eating too much cotton candy, looks like it might be tasty buts feels yucky and sick.
  • Boogers
  • When I was a kid (in the 80s) they had a toy called "slime" and it was green and came in a little plastic garbage can and it's sole purpose was that you took it out of the can and held it and it was cold and wet and slimy. That's gossip!

I invite you to join me and over 6000 women and growing as we give up Gossip and 5 other of the most self-sabotaging habits of our Inner Mean Girls! Imagine the impact we can have on our lives and on the world.

To join us for the FREE! cleanse, go to http://www.meangirlcleanse.com

And to get more scoop on this SNEAKY GOSSIP check out our Video Blog about what Gossip really is...

Gossip VIdeo.png

 
 
 
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Photographs of Christine Arylo by Karina Marie Diaz.
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