It's crazy how often we spend way more effort and emotion than we need in order to reach our goals, organize our lives or 'do' all the things we have set out to do in a day, a week or a year. We 'work' at it vs. 'creating' it. We 'make it happen' vs. 'let it happen.' We force our will and our agendas vs. listening to and using the energy of the moment, letting the universe do the heavy lifting for us. It's like choosing to walk up a mountain with 200lbs on our back vs. taking the sky cap up, giving us the ability to enjoy the view when we arrive as well as all the way up. While you might build some great calves and quadriceps from the heavy lifting approach, living your life this way means missing out on lots of the beauty, views and magic because you'll be too darn tired from working and pushing to enjoy what you've created. Love Fact:
When we force and push ourselves, our agendas and others, we work harder not because of some valiant ideal that hard work makes us a better person. We force because we are afraid to trust. We push because we believe that once we attain that status, material thing, accomplishment, task, whatever, we will be happy, successful and enough. The truth is that you are enough right now, that you have nothing to prove, and that if you can stop pushing, you will actually create and draw to you what really makes you happy. Stop working so darn hard at your life, and start loving yourself for who you are today and what you've already created.
What you need:
1. a commitment to find your personal push
2. a physical awareness of how you feel when you push and when you let it happen
3. a willingness to trust
How to Find Your Personal Push & Let it Go
To succeed at this tip, you are going to amp up your awareness big time to the difference in how you feel when you are pushing vs. when you are working with the natural flow of things. We all have different types of pushes, but they all stem from a basic lack of belief that we are not enough right now or from a basic fear of being rejected, abandoned, or hurt.
Common personal pushes include:
- The Do It All Myself: as long I am busting my butt I am okay.
- The Grab For Whatever I Can Get: as long as I am busy I am okay.
- I Can Do More! I Can Do More!: as long as I get acknowledgement I am okay.
- Once I Get There I'll Be Good: as long as I keep working hard towards my goal, I am okay.
- And a whole lot more. What's your Personal Push?
Actions
- Make a commitment to find the Personal Push that's running your life right now.
- Remind yourself each morning that you are on the look out for your Personal Push.
- Throughout the day, as you find yourself feeling stressed, overwhelmed or pressured, notice how your body feels. If it feels tense, overwhelmed, full of anxiety, or really sluggish you are pushing. This is the first step of awareness.
- Ask yourself the question, "What am I forcing? What am I trying to push?"
- Listen to the answer. You have found your current Personal Push.
- Ask yourself, "Why am I pushing this? What happens if I stop pushing?" What about that scares me, or makes me uncomfortable?"
- Listen to the answer. You have found the fear behind the Push.
- Release the fear using any one of these:
- Give Yourself Love On the Spot. Tell yourself, "I am enough right now." Say it til you believe it.
- Get Grateful. Make a list out loud of all that you have created already in your life and
- Change the Negative to Positive. Say out loud the exact opposite of the fear. For example, if your fear is that if you don't do this one thing, you won't make the money you want, say out loud, "I have all that I need right now. I am totally taken care of." Say it til you feel it.
To get more love dares, download a free copy of the Madly in Love with ME Kit at www.madlyinlovewithme.com
If you want to learn more about the power of being in the flow vs. pushing through your life, read the book Power vs. Force by David Hawkins.
If you want to learn more about your fears and what causes you to push, read the book The Wisdom of the Enneagram by Don Riso.
