January 2010: Monthly Archives

 
 

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With the 12 days of Christmas over...
 and 360 days ahead of us in 2010
How About Joining ME for a 40-Day Self-love Practice...


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40 days of falling more madly in love with ourselves!



Why a Self Love Practice?
Over the holiday break, I did a lot of thinking about self love. I know, what? Why would I be thinking about that? Well for many reasons, I teach it, I write it and so I decided to take a pause to examine why I was having such a hard time doing it. While I have reached many self- love milestones... I know who I am, I live a life that is absolutely congruent with that person, I do what I love almost everyday, my relationship with my partner is a true partnership full of unconditional love, and actually every relationship I have is full of love, not a toxic one in sight! But, the milestone of taking care of myself... of being nice, supportive and loving to myself... of feeling like I was truly enough just because I was ME, regardless of what I achieved, well, that milestone has continued to elude me. I've made progress over the years, yes, but the fact is that in 2009 my achievement junkie was still running a big part of my life. And let's face it, any motivation, thought, feeling or emotion that comes from that part of me, or of you, is not loving!

So as I looked to 2010 I had an aha that went something like this... "Most of us get that we 'should' take care of ourselves... that we ought to be nice to ourselves and see what we've accomplished not what we haven't... that it would be a good idea to stop driving ourselves like energizer bunnies gone mad... and that we do need to fill ourselves up before we can give to anyone else. We know these things in our heads, yet when it comes to making the choices that lead to self-love vs. exhaustion, overwhelm and feeling less than perfect, we usually fail. It's like we are trained to take the guilty, sacrificial, give-it-all-to-everyone else path and no matter what we do we can't stop the self-love dumpster patterns and habits."

And that's when it struck me! The 'how to' really, truly accept and love who I am right now and to take really frickin good care of her! I've learned from every teacher I have studied with that having a daily practice can change your life. I've had one for 8 years, and so I know they are telling the truth. So I thought to myself, why not start a self-love practice, do it every day and change my life some more!  And then i thought, why not invite all of you to do it with me! After all, there is power in numbers and think about the power of thousands of us doing a self-love practice for the next 40-days!


Why 40-days?

When I told my friend Debra about the 40 day self-love practice, she asked me, "Why 40 days?" I love Debra, she always asks me great questions! Here are the answers:

  • Many yogic traditions believe that if you can do something for 40 days you can change your life, shift major pattern and create new ones. Yogis are smart.
  • Many metaphysical traditions say the number 40 means "enough".  40 days in the desert kind of thing. These people, also smart.
  • People who study the brain say that if you can do something for 40 days you can create new habits.  Ok, they are brain scientists, they have to be smart!
All good reasons, tried and true, and then add one more, the big kahuna in my mind...

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WE ARE 40 DAYS AWAY FROM THE INTERNATIONAL DAY OF SELF-LOVE!
FEBRUARY 13TH, 2010
is the official day of self-love, so what better day to celebrate our 40-day victory than with a big self-love celebration. I'm throwing a big one in San Francisco, there's another one in Chicago and Orlando, and really anyone can throw one (i've put all the details in the Madly in Love with ME Kit which you can download for free).


What do you have to do to get started?
Here are your first two steps:
  1. Say YES! to making self-love a practice for the next 40 days. Go ahead, say it out loud, "Self love is my practice for the next 40 days!"
  2. Action #1: Starting tomorrow morning, as soon as you wake up or at least within the first hour, ask yourself "What do I need to do today to take care of ME?" Out loud. Listen. Really listen. Whatever the answer is, say that out loud. And make it happen, It's not optional it's a priority, because you are a priority.

Today, when I asked the question, the answer I got was  "Spend time with candles lit dreaming up your next year." So I felt into the day, and it felt like night would be good. And so I took the time this evening to do that, before I finished this blog to you! Result? I've been taken care of!

More love...

Over the next 40 days, I will be blogging every day about my adventure and giving you tips and tools for your own 40-day self love adventure. I'll be facebooking and tweeting and sharing inspiration, including the Video Dare contest and Self-Love Manifesta contest we are running on http://madlyinlovewithme.com.  Check it out! We are radiating self love all over the place for the next 40 days .... make sure to come on in and soak some up!



 
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Self-Love Adventure:

learn more about you by traveling back through your life and remembering what FUN was for you at different times and ages.


One thing that I have learned about fun is that it changes as we age and it also stays the same. Both are true. There are things that were fun for you when you were 7 that would still be fun if you gave yourself the permission to just let go and be your little girl again. And there are things that you thought were fun as a teenager and in your early twenties that would so not be fun today. And that information - about what fun used to be and about how your definition of fun has changed as you have are great ways to get to know the woman you are today even better.

So many of us 'adults' have come to think of play as something we have to buy or save for when in fact if we just take a look back through time, we can find all kinds of ways to have fun that don't require a credit card or a down payment. And so many of us think back to the times when we were more 'free' and think they were full of such fun, but what we realize when we go back in time is that those things weren't really as fun as we thought. And that realization brings even more freedom!

So today I invite you to take a self-love adventure to learn more about your personal definition of fun by taking a trip back in time ... it's called Fun-Time Travel and this is how you do it:


Step One:  Create some space in your life to take a couple of hours for this journey. Pack the materials you'll need: a journal or some paper, writing or drawing utensils, and your memory. If it helps, bring some pictures of you from different ages.

Step Two:
Take your materials to a place where you can just be with you. It can be a public place like a coffee shop, out in nature or a personal space in your home. Just make it somewhere you can really sink into this adventure.

Step Three: Once you are all settled in, first on the top of one page write, "When I was 5 and 7, fun was..."  Turn to the next page and write "When I was 13 and 15 fun was... " Turn to the next page and write "When I was 17 and 19 fun was", then "21 fun was..." and so on using whatever ages make sense for you, up to and including the age you are today.

Step Four:  Starting with your youngest age, answer the question, "When I was 5 and 7, fun was...." Imagine yourself at that age. See yourself as you were then. Remember what it was that you did that made you laugh, smile or just have a good time. Write in really great detail what fun was for you. Describe what you did. Write down how you felt. Notice what you think about that today.
Repeat the same for each year that you wrote down.

Step Five: Go back and look at all your wrote. What do you notice? Use these questions as a way to find the nuggets of wisdom that you can apply to your life today:
•    What surprises you?
•    What makes you happy? What makes you sad?
•    How has your idea of fun changed over the years?
•    What are common themes throughout the years?
•    What can you take from the past to bring more fun into your life today?
•    What do you need to let go over to bring more fun into your life today?

Step Six: Pick three actions based on what you learned from your time travel that you can take immediately to start bringing more fun into your life. Write down what you will do and by when. And then tell someone what you've decided to do. Ask them to be your Play Partner and help you stay accountable to having fun and doing your three fun actions!


To get more self-love adventures, download a free copy of the Madly in Love with ME Kit at http://www.madlyinlovewithme.com




 
 
 
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Photographs of Christine Arylo by Karina Marie Diaz.
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