Recently in Taking Care of Me Category

You deserve support.

There is no question about that. Support is a form of love that we all deserve, no matter what. And the great news is that support is everywhere - when you know where to look, what to ask for, and how to receive it.

If you are anything like me and most people I know, you love being supported. You love feeling like you have the support you need to be taken care of, do your great work, be successful and happy. And most of all, when you feel supported, you feel loved. (Support is a form of love)

And like most people, sometimes, maybe even often times, it can feel like you don't have the support you need. Like everything is on your shoulders. Like you are all alone. Or like there's just not enough support at all.

I've felt this way myself on more than one occasion, and one day I got sick and tired (literally) of running the story line, "I don't have the support I need." So I made a promise to stop focusing on what I didn't have and start focusing on what I desired - by really getting clear on what kind of support I needed.

In this LOVE LETTER VIDEO I share that process with you.

So here's a LOVE DARE for you... give up the story line that you are not supported and embrace the story that leads to you getting the support you need - watch this video, ask yourself the 4 questions, take a daring act of love to find the support, and then open up to receive the support that comes!

For the past two weeks, I've so wanted to write a love blog post, I've even sat down and started to write them, but the truth is... I didn't have it to give.

You see I just finished my new book two weeks ago - which up until that point has been like being in labor for 16 months! And on the day I was really done, instead of dancing on tables, I was laying horizontal in my bed ... tired, spent, and needing to R-E-S-T!. It felt like I had just released something that had been with me, on my mind, for waking moment for over a year. I needed to seriously replenish. I needed to unplug from working and plug into resting. You know all that self-care stuff. But I had a lot of commitments to others I had already made. Plus this baby book that wanted more attention!

What to do?

Maybe you can relate? You know those times you know you just don't have it to give, that you need to rest and relax but you feel obligated, guilty, pressured, like you should just 'push through,' 'buck up and power up?'

So there I stood at a crossroads - could I give myself permission to rest, cancel events, keep my output to a minimum. And was I willing to disappoint other people in order to stay true to myself?

It didn't escape me that I had just completed a book on self-love!

And so I knew the answer, I HAD to give myself permission and choose self-care for ME ... but it was hard, and it often is...

Luckily I had three super powered self-love tools to call on - and it took all 3 to finally give myself permission to relax and replenish these last two weeks

So today, in solidarity to your self-care and giving ourselves the rest and replenishment we need, no matter what... I share with you those 3 self-love tools so you can use them too!
Watch the video where I share my story and my 3 super power tools:

1. GET PERMISSION FROM YOURSELF... Ask the super powered self love question, "Am I willing to disappoint another to stay true to myself?" Btw, the answer is always YES!
2. GET PERMISSION FROM A FRIEND... When you can't do it for yourself, you gotta throw out a love line!  Call your friend and tell them "I need you to tell me it's okay that I don't ... And that its okay that I choose to take care of myself first.
3. GET CONFIRMATION FROM THE DIVINE... Dial into God and ask the universe to take care of whatever needs taking care of in divine timing and in everyone's highest good. And then ask for a divine date when you can come back and revisit this thing you are setting down in a daring act of self love.

Here's the thing I know - We Know HOW to take care of ourselves. We know the ACTIONS we need to take. It's GIVING YOURSELF PERMISSION that can be REALLY HARD to give yourself.

Post HERE What you are willing to give yourself permission to do for yourself as an act of self-love!

ENJOY daring to give yourself love, even if that means disappointing another.

You spend all this energy setting intentions, making vision boards, studying the laws of the universe, trying to be a 'good manifestor' - you know manifest the things and the life you want. You put the effort in, yet still, something doesn't quite click. What is going on?




In this love letter video, I share one BIG way we mess up our manifesting - by putting in our order to the universe and then not receiving it when it arrives right on our doorstep. In our little minds, we have a vision for what it's supposed to be like, so when it doesn't show up in that exact package, often you are missing something even better than what you asked for.

Watch the video - where I share my story how I was messing up my manifesting - and then take a daring act of love like I did to welcome in what the universe offered.
 
And then write down below in the comments, what you are RECEIVING today from the divine - saying THANK YOU DIVINE for delivering this to me...

Self-Care Belief and Habit #1

Believe: "If I start my day by taking care of me, I will feel better taken care of."

Take A Daily Act of Love: Ask yourself what you need, first thing, every day . . . and then give it to yourself, without question and without fail.

How many times after waking up in the morning have you checked your email, voicemail or electronic device before you peed? Thought about your to-do list before you thought about how you were feeling? Dialed into the Internet before dialing into the Divine? Started your day startled by your buzzing alarm clock? How many times have you inputted and ingested stress-producing thoughts and energies that remind you of how much you have to do, how much you didn't get done yesterday, and how little time there is to get it all done? Or started your day time-deficient, love-starved, and disconnected, feeling like you've already failed and fallen behind, focusing on everything and everyone else except for yourself?

Kristine Carlson, author of Don't Sweat the Small Stuff for Moms and Don't Sweat the Small Stuff for Women, sums the power of this self-care belief and habit up the best: "How you start your day is how you live your day."

Start in stress, live in stress. Start feeling like there's so much to do, live feeling like you never get enough done. Start disconnected from yourself, live the entire day unaware of what you need. But start your day connected to yourself, and you're way more likely to make sure that your needs get taken care of as well as everyone else's. Start your day connected to your breath and your body, and you're likely to stay connected to your body and its needs. Start your day connected to the Divine, and you'll feel supported all day long and be able to hold a stronger sense of inner peace throughout the day.

Have excuses started rolling through your mind? "I don't have time to meditate for thirty minutes; my children need me." Or: "I'm just not a morning person. I don't have time . . . I don't have time . . ." While all these things may be true, they are never the real reason why we can't. We just don't believe that we can.

You don't have to spend thirty minutes on a cushion, teach your kids how to make their own breakfast, or start waking up at 4 am for exercise,. You need to shift your mind-set to one that assigns top priority to your own mental, spiritual, emotional, and physical health. And then watch the miracles occur! When you start to value yourself by spending your time on you, and by choosing how you start your day, your entire day will shift. Try the following simple but mighty Daring Act of Love. One takes less than three minutes, and the other requires no extra time at all. Then notice how they change your self-care pulse.

Daring Act of Love: Start Your Day by Taking Care of Your Needs
Upon waking, open your eyes and then close your eyes immediately. Put one hand on your belly and one on your heart. Take three deep breaths and ask yourself this question: "What do I need in order to take care of me today?" Listen for your best friend's answer (that is the voice of your Inner Wisdom). She will tell you. Whatever she says, make sure you get it. Make a commitment every morning to give yourself what your Inner Wisdom says you need. This may be a actual thing, an action to take, or who knows! Do this ritual for seven days and notice the impact. Become aware of which of your unconscious anti-self-care beliefs get revealed and which of your habitual patterns get pushed out of their comfort zone. Challenge yourself to go beyond comfort into radical self-care!

For extra support, keep a journal close to your bed and write down what your Inner Wisdom says and the commitment you make - on behalf of yourself as your own b.f.f - each morning. Use it as a big permission slip that says, "You can <<insert self-care commitment>> today." Rip the page out of the journal and take it with you as you go about your day. When the time comes to take action,  read the permission slip to yourself and take the radical act of believing you are worth spending your time on.
 

The excerpt above was taken from the book "Madly in Love with ME: The Daring Adventure to Becoming Your Own Best Friend" written by Christine Arylo and published November 2012 by New World Library.

To receive the free Self-Love Kit including a hand-illustrated e-book and powerful self-love teachings, including on radical self-care, from Christine Arylo, go to www.MadlyinLovewithME.com

As a woman who has worked hard for most of her life, only to find that much of what was really driving me was my unexpressed fears, doubts, egoic ambitions, need for external approval... I am committed to learning how to make a BIG IMPACT with grace and ease, and yes sometimes you put in the long hours, but even then can't it be joyful instead of hard and full of toil?

If you are a person who drives themselves too hard, works too hard, gives too much, is tired/exhausted/overworked ... and would like to make a positive difference in the world, in your life and the life of others...then read on, because I've written this love letter for you.

A transformational poem in response to the question "What's Driving You To Work So Hard?"




Stop moving so fast, so hard
Where are you going?
And who & what are you leaving behind?
Not to mention the cost to your health and heart.

Plus, what is the rush anyway?
You act like there is somewhere to go.
When in reality there is nowhere to rush to,
But to stand right where you are.

Breathe.
Breathe I said.
Deeply,
Until you can feel it in your core
That's right...
Exhale all that pressure,
All the preconceived notions about how any of this thing -- called your life --
is supposed to turn out. 

That's right, see, doesn't that feel better?
Breathe.
Breathe.
Yes, that's it.
Now you are ready to LISTEN...

Close your eyes.
Can you hear it?
That voice
that's been waiting to speak to you for so long.
Wise. Solid. Secure. All knowing.
It has something to tell you...

"Everything is going to be just fine.
It's all going to work out.
It already is working out,
if you'd just relax, let go and let it do the working out.
Sit back... Breathe... and Receive
the love
the happiness
the peace
the support
the grace
that is always here
When you remember to
Stop. Breathe. & Receive."
 



For more support in kicking this overwork habit, check out this free tele-jam I recently hosted all about getting your inner critic off your back and on your side. Be a Achiever and a Receiver! Go here...  http://www.innermeangirl.com

That is the very question -- Is it possible to live stress free? -- I found myself asking myself as I sat in Costa Rica looking out at the jungle, feeling for the first time in a long time, completely free of stress.

And while in Costa Rica I have to say the answer was yes.

And i have to tell you stress-free felt really good!

So good that I found myself sitting there getting a little mad about how much stress I knew was waiting for me back home...

I didn't want to lose that feeling of freedom, inner peace, ease... I wanted to take it with me.

Maybe you can relate? After going on vacation, taking a long weekend, a day off? Feeling the stress melt away, and not wanting to take it back on but feeling almost powerless to do anything else.

What I realized in Costa Rica and I am going to share with you now in this love letter, is that the only way that I was going to NOT pick up all the stress when I got back home, was for me to get honest about all the ways in which i was making it okay for stress to take over my life.

And instead of being a victim to the stress... be empowered to make a different choice when it showed up.

And instead of being surprised or mad when stress emerged... taking pre-emptive action so stress couldn't come creeping in.

The process and meditation I went through on the deck in that jungle was transformative... it burned up a few stress creators on the spot... and while stress is still knocking on my door, I can say that after a month of being home, the stress gremlins have not taken back over control! Although they keep trying!

You have a VERY IMPORTANT JOB to do this summer!

HAVE FUN!
Lots of it.
Spontaneous fun... unplanned... magical... the kind you used to have before there was so much 'work' to do!

Yes, I know you have tons to do... lots of people and projects depending on you, that's true.

But what is also true is that YOU are depending on you - not just to take those 'planned vacations and trips' you've got jotted down for the summer...

But to LIVE YOUR SUMMER like the SUMMER OF LOVE... free, happy, and full of self-love (you can skip the bell bottoms and psychedlics and just go for the simple F-U-N)

Watch this weeks love letter video where I share 3 of the biggest threats to your summer of FREEDOM and HAPPY and LOVE... and 3 simple things you can do every day so you don't have to wait for vacation to have a great summer... I'll be doing them right along with you, in fact, I've already started (notice the scenery!)

1.  Tell your Inner Mean Girl or Inner Mean Dude to head to summer camp next time they tell you that you can't play because you better keep working!  Need help, come to one of my Inner Mean Girl Reform School tele-jams http://www.innermeangirl.com

2.  No keeping your heart closed to magical spontaneous invitations!  Say YES!!!!

3.  Receive the assistance of the Divine -- forget trying to do it all on your own - you'll never have time for fun doing life that way... ask the Divine for help and then let it help you!  Need some help opening up those channels?  Join me for Wine and the Divine http://www.wineandthedivine.com

This summer... have FUN - lots of it.... you are depending on you to give it to yourself.

Really, when was the last time you gave yourself a break?

Or gave yourself credit for all that you do in a day or have accomplished
already in your life (which I am sure is alot!)

Or celebrated your accomplishments for more than a few days or minutes,
Before focusing on what you needed to do next?

Transform the 3 F's... Fat Lies, Frenemy's, and Fear into your the Fabulous A's... Appreciation, Acknowledgment, All Your Needs Taken Care Of...

Watch the video and share here what Love Dare you are going to take!

Many of us say that we want love

We spend tons of energy

Sometimes even money

On trying to find it

But then I wonder

Are we really open to receiving it

Once it shows up on our doorstep

Or do we actually shut the door

On the very thing we want most

Does your heart open wide when love knocks on your door?

Expanding and opening to let the love flow in.

Or does your heart contract, recoil and pull back

Peer out the window, want to open the door so badly, but is too afraid

Of what would happen if it let love in again?

Does your heart rush in with open arms to find and embrace connection in this world

Expecting to receive love back

Knowing that love is everywhere when you know where to look

And when your heart is open to receive it?

Or is your heart cautious, having been hurt before,

So it doesn't let itself open too wide or let too many people in

Instead of skipping through life freely and joyfully

Is your heart walking safely and securely never risking too much?

It's okay you know,

We've all be hurt

We've all had our innocent pure loving hearts smacked around

Stepped on

Looked over

Rejected

Abandoned

And as a result,

You may have built big walls around your heart

So you'd never be hurt again

Or you may have taken all the walls down

Hoping you'd be loved again, if you just gave more of yourself away.

And although you were doing what you needed to do

To protect yourself at the time

The truth is that what actually protects you most is not walls or the giving of yourself away,

The biggest protection you have in life is love.

But love can only protect you if you let it in.

Love can only serve you if you let it.

All love needs is permission to open the door of your heart again.

Think of all the ways that love comes knocking on your heart's door today:

When a stranger smiles

Do you smile back and let the love permeate your heart

Or do you give a fake obligatory smile or pretend you didn't notice?

When someone approaches you with the offer of a hug

Do you let the embrace fully envelope you

Letting all your body parts touch, chest, belly and arms

Or do you politely offer a few pats on the back, never touching hearts

Or do you go for the A frame hug, letting your upper chest touch but the hug stops there.

When someone offers to help you or pays you a compliment

Does your heart open wide to say THANK YOU! YES! I will receive that

Or do you push back their gift

Saying you can handle it on your own

Or "this old thing, I've had it for years!"

When someone offers you a chance to connect during your 'busy' day

Do you stop and make time for love

Or do you skip by the moments in life in which love is offered

Putting it on hold for when you have time,

But those times come far and few between?

When you wake up in the morning

Do you look around and notice the magic and splendor of the beauty of this world?

Do you fill your heart with all that you are grateful for

Or do you jump out of bed without noticing much of anything

Except thinking of all the things you have to do or all that you haven't yet done?

When you find yourself in relationship with an intimate partner, a lover, a mate

Do you let down your walls of protection

And show them the truth of your heart and soul

Even in the times, especially in the times, when you are afraid?

Do you lean in with an open heart to create the intimacy that you desire,

Or do you use love as a weapon, or say you want intimacy but then don't offer it?

Do you settle for less than the deep emotional connection that only two open hearts can create

And tell yourself that what you have is enough.

When your heart knows that it is not?

What if today, you let your heart speak freely.

What would she or he say?

What one daring act of love would you be willing to take

To risk letting love walk in your heart's door?

To set your heart free

To do what it does best

To love.

And in return allow you to revel and trust in that love forever.

Popular author of Choosing ME before WE, Every Woman's Guide to Life and Love, Christine Arylo has been called the Queen of Self-Love. Her insights, fresh perspectives and daring take on love, in all its forms, have been featured on TV and radio stations across the country, in the world's top spas and retreat centers, and in colleges and corporations. She is the founder of Madly in Love with ME, an international movement of self-love, which includes a free self-love kit downloadable at www.ChooseSelfLove.com. She is also the co-founder of Inner Mean Girl Reform School, a virtual school where women go to transform their self-sabotaging voices into self-empowering ones.

If you were to stop and look around your life
At your job
Your relationships
Your finances
Your responsibilities
The goals driving your decisions

How free do you really feel?
And if the answer isn't SUPER FREAKING FREE ... then why is that?

Isn't FREEDOM -
really what you, me and we are all working so dang hard for?
Because, let's face it -- we all do work pretty hard, and for what?

Money? Time? Security? ...
or is what we are really after Freedom? Happiness? Love?

In the wake of thinking a lot about life and death these last few weeks,
(thank you so much everyone for all the loving emails, they've meant so much!)...
I've been having some deep conversations with the universe...
About the why so many people feel TRAPPED.
Why we WORK so dang HARD.
About why we WAIT to live the lives our hearts and souls yearn for. 
How is it possible that our generation has more opportunity
than all the generations before us combined...
Yet most people aren't any happier?

Today, I can say that I have created a life in which I feel very free.
I know that I am one of the most free and happy people I know.
I still have a mortgage, a car lease, and people who count on me...
I still have aspirations and big dreams
I don't live in a tent, and I haven't had to relinquish my worldly possessions!
My freedom comes from within, from who and what I give power to.
To what I truly have faith in.
To what I trust most in.

It's taken me 10 years of conscious decisions to get off
what I call the "Escalator to Death" ... some it the call "The Road to Nowhere"... and others call "The American Dream," or what the American Dream has morphed and twisted into: work your butt off, every day to get farther ahead, amass more stuff, and create "enough" financial security so that you can feel safe... or like you have finally gotten 'there' But most of us, even when we get 'there' just feel more trapped than we did before. Crazy! 

After you watch the video, I'd love to hear from you about how you would like to be more free in your life -- is it in
your career,
your financial freedom,
your relationships,
your self expression,
your capacity to let love in?

And then pick ONE step you will take in the next 48 hours to give yourself more freedom in that area... claim it here on the blog (what you state you are a gazillion more times likely to do!) and watch your happiness and love quotients RISE!