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Vulnerability ... What is it?

A woman who owns her vulnerability understands that to be vulnerable is not weak, but instead is one of the strongest powers she possesses. For it is by being vulnerable that she allows herself to be seen by another as her truest and most innocent self. She can put the epicenter of her own self love on display - and by doing so invites the other to do the same.

Because she can open herself to be seen so deeply, this woman has the ability to receive love from another. When a woman is closed and protected, love cannot get in, no matter how much she wants it. It is only when a woman allows her heart to open that she has the capacity to receive love. How much love depends on how open her heart is, or in other words, how big her love quotient is. As she expands her love quotient, so does the love expand in her life.

A woman who stands in the power of her vulnerability has the capacity to accept and give love freely, unafraid that anything can or will be taken away from her. She knows that when she is truly open no one can take love from her.

She is unafraid to show the raw, real feelings that live inside her soul. She knows that they may not be received by everyone, however she does not let that stop her from sharing herself. She is smart in who she chooses to be vulnerable with, but she is not shrewd in her selection as that would close off her heart.

She knows that her expression of vulnerability can open up the heart of another, inviting them to show their raw and real self in return. She understands that this is one of the most potent powers of vulnerability - the ability to open up hearts, both hers and everyone her power touches.

Because she is comfortable yielding her vulnerability, she always steps forward in love. She hugs big and freely. She trusts big and freely. She shares truthfully and freely. She is unafraid to cry, to tell the truth, to appear weak, to be wrong. Even if she knows she may get hurt, she believes it worth the risk.

This is a woman who understands that she cannot expect what she cannot give. So if it is intimacy she wants, she must be willing to create it herself. Vulnerability is the key to intimacy. One cannot access intimacy without vulnerability. This woman understands that, as she takes responsibility for creating safe spaces in her relationships.
 
She is unafraid to ask for or show the way to her partner to create this vulnerability. She is willing to be both student and teacher, as long as they both lean in and experiment together.

She is capable of sharing her raw feelings. Of admitting her weaknesses and fears. Of taking responsibility for her behaviors, no matter how hard they are to admit. And she does so without blaming, criticizing or passing judgment. She does so with an open heart, in spite of the fact that she may be afraid to do so.
 

What is your powerful definition of Vulnerability?

If you read the common definition of vulnerability in the dictionary, which is

"capable of or susceptible to being wounded or hurt, as by a weapon,"

it's no wonder most of us skitter around vulnerability. No one in their right mind wants to be open to attack. And with a definition like this it's no wonder that we don't have the intimacy we really want in our relationships or with ourselves for that matter. We say we want intimacy with our mates, but most of us are totally unequipped to give it in return. Most people are not that great at vulnerability and for good reason. They have spent their lives learning they have to protect themselves. But the fact is, that if we really want to experience love, we have to be able and willing to be totally vulnerable. But not in the way our current dictionaries define it. We need to be vulnerable in the real meaning of the word, which actually exudes great strength and fortitude.

If you're like me and most of the women I've met in my journey of teaching and reading the principles of Choosing ME before WE, we could all use a redefined version of vulnerability. Here's my take on vulnerability. A new definition for today's 21st century woman, a woman who can be totally in love with herself and be totally available to share love with another. She is a woman who dares to be loved, because she can:




understands that to be vulnerable is not weak, but instead is one of the strongest powers she possesses.

can open herself to be seen so deeply at her most truest and innocent self, that she has the ability to fully receive love from another.

has the capacity to accept and give love freely, unafraid that anything can or will be taken away from her.

is unafraid to show the raw, real feelings that live inside her soul.

knows her expression of vulnerability can open the heart of another, inviting them to show their raw & real self.

always steps forward in love. Even if she knows she may get hurt, it's worth the risk. And with sovereignty on her side, she knows she will never give herself away.

is unafraid to cry, tell the truth, appear weak, or be wrong.

understands that she can't expect what she can't give.

understands that vulnerability is the key to intimacy.

is unafraid to ask for or show the way to her partner to create this vulnerability.